19-25 May 2017 #859

Nepal elects Hitler 


Herr Hitler Shakya is Unsere Führer of Lalitpur Ward #6 because most people put the swastika on him. It appears that people with first names Stalin, Lenin, Mao, Mussolini, Pol Pot and Darth Vader all voted for him.

A new Nepali movie named (what else?) Hitler, with Sohit Manandhar, Menuka Pradhan et al is being released on 17 May. It is not a historical biopic of the fall of the Third Reich, but shot on location with fight scenes at Rara Lake. Meanwhile, the Ejection Commission has expedited vote counting so there is a good chance Ranju Darshana could be Mayor of Kathmandu in her lifetime. In Bharatpur, First Dotter Renu Dahal has insisted all ballot papers for the NC Mayoral candidate should be counted as hers since Daddy Dear has made a pact with Dubya Uncle. The new party is called Nepal Commgress Party (Centrifuge).   

Meanwhile, the Once-Royal Nepal Embassy in Washington DC has brought out its much-awaited press release on the landmark presidential elections in the United States last year. Here is the full text of the statement:

Nepal Statement on the U.S. Presidential Elections

WASHINGTON DC — Nepal recognises the effort by all steak holders in the Beef Belt, including the military-industrial complex, climate deniers and creationists in conducting what appears to be at first glance a largely polarising and broadly acrimonious presidential election.

The Government of Nepal (GONE) now urges all aforementioned steak holders to once and for all decide whether they want theirs well done, or rare. We urge Americans to accept the result of the election even though a #Doofus is a #Potus. That’s the way the cookie crumbles in a democracy, folks. Live with it.

The Nepal Embassy also lodged a strong note verbale (Latin: A message delivered verbally and not in writing since it contains expletives) with the Federal Erection Commission to permit Nepali Election Observers unrestricted access to inspect the electronic records of the last election in order to enable the international community, including accredited Nepali diplomats in DC, to have a say in the final outcome of that highly disputed election. 

Before going, GONE would insists that with less than four years to go for the next U.S. president to be elected or the present one to be impeached (whichever comes first) all efforts should be undertaken by the Federal Government as well as the American people to be engaged in creating a more inclusive society, boost turnout, improve the credibility of the electoral process, and make Russia Great Again.

Not to be outdone, 12A Kensington Garden has also issued a statement about the forthcoming U.K. elections:

Nepal Statement on U.K. Elections

We do not want to comment on the process at this stage of preparations for the upcoming U.K. elections since it is Nepal’s policy never to comment on the internal affairs of another country, but we will do it just the same and let the fish and chips fall where they may. Lu ja. We absolutely insist that necessary conditions are created to ensure that people who want to separate from Britain, and those who want Britain to separate from Europe all get to vote. We don’t want to go to war with you again, but we take umbrage at not being allowed to officially observe the elections on June 8. Bye.

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