The Ass is soon going to be out of a job if PM KP Oli keeps up all this joking and clowning around.
The Ass is soon going to be out of a job if PM KP Oli keeps up all this joking and clowning around. He’s hilarious. Probably the funniest prime minister in our nation’s history (and geography) and someone who makes our troubles seem so far away.
He is giving stiff competition to oxymorons like yours truly. You don’t know how much I have to struggle with this stuff every week, while for PMji it all just comes very effortlessly as if he was a natural born comedian laureate of Nepal. A Court Jester. Comrade KP is a pro, his material is far more superior. He is able to make the whole country laugh at him.
We can see that Oily Uncle takes his job of tickling our funny bone seriously. This is no mean feat for someone who had the grim task of beheading zamindars during his childhood. And thank goodness for that because he provides us with comic relief in this time of national gloom and doom in order to brighten up our days and nights.
It has become de rigeur and rigor mortis for Nepalis to poke fun at the incumbent prime minister. That is every citizen’s right in a democracy; every Nepali is entitled to call the prime minister an ass if he/she/it so wishes. But we must also bear in mind that the man is a true visionary. Some of KP’s plans for the wellbeing of the Nepali people are truly groundbreaking, and would lead to a transformation of the country if we only allowed him.
For instance, the prime minister was not shooting the breeze when he said he wants to generate wind power to electrify every home in the country. To realise that dream, we could create a National Windbag Authority that will be responsible for harnessing our vast potential to generate electricity from the capacity of every Nepali to break wind. This would finally make us individually and as a nation truly self-sufficient as long as we keep eating broad beans.
The Prime Minister’s other ingenious proposal, and one that confirms he is spending sleepless nights trying to find ways to reduce the hardships of the people, is to pipe natural gas to every home so that families don’t have to wait in line for two days for half a cylinder of LPG. It also shows that the prime minister is not obsessed about taking credit for such a project of national prestige even though he knows that we know that it will take at least till the second half of the century for piped gas to be a reality in Kathmandu.
Being a progressive politician, the prime minister is also extremely sensitive to gender issues. He has time and again proven that he regards the interest of Nepali womanhood in the highest esteem which is why
he remarked on YouTube the other day that there is no reason why Nepali women should aim to become police officers when they can become president by being from the right party and having the right friends in high places.
And speaking of YouTube, if you didn’t already know how passionately PM Oli feels about the One-horned Asiatic Rhinoceros, you should watch his take on it. Exact quote: “A life lived without seeing a rhino is not a life worth living.”
Every decade or so a Nepali leader pops up to say that he will turn Nepal into Switzerland by such-and-such a date. What these leaders don’t know is that Nepal is already Switzerland. Just look at all the similarities between our two countries:
1. We are both landlocked.
2. Neither was colonised.
3. Both will soon be ethnic confederations.
4. Our mercenaries guard the British Queen, theirs guard the Pope. Ours use khukuris, theirs use Swiss Army Knives.
5. Our leaders treat Swiss banks as their own.
6. If the RPP has its way we may have a referendum every month for everything.
7. They export Ferrero Rochers, we export Pustakaris.
8. They have cantons, we had cantonments.
9. They have mountains, ours are higher.
10. They have cuckoo clocks, we have cuckoo leaders.