We are a country that is more advanced than most advanced countries when it comes to the Gross National Holiday Index (GNHI). Going by this parameter, Nepal is one of the most productive nations on earth.
One of the measures of a country’s well-being is the amount of leisure time its citizens enjoy. How many hours a week does the average citizen work? How many days of vacation are salaried employees entitled to?
Which is why although Nepal may rank somewhere near the bottom of the heap in terms of GNP per capita, we are a country that is more advanced than most advanced countries when it comes to the Gross National Holiday Index (GNHI). Going by this parameter, Nepal is one of the most productive nations on earth.
Our civil servants, schools and industries are closed for 302 days in a year giving us a GNHI of 75% — which puts us in the same league as OECD countries in terms of spare time citizens enjoy. It is a tribute to our can-do attitude that despite being so lackadaisical we as a nation miraculously still manage to write a constitution, and ensure a thriving black market in gas cylinders.
This week, for instance we had three-and-half days off: two days for men and three days for women. Transgender people were entitled to four days off. Civil servants went about as if the whole week was a holiday because this is a country where you don’t need a holiday to have a holiday. And we have holidays for every animal: Gai Jatra, Ghode Jatra,
Kag Puja, Kukur Puja. Which brings me to my pet peeve: if horses have their own day why don’t donkeys? Good news: I have it on good authoritarians that the jabberment is set to declare Gadha Jatra a national holiday during the Cabinet Meeting scheduled for Monday, unless of course Monday is declared a national holiday to mark the forthcoming lunatic eclipse.
Despite all our efforts, Nepal doesn’t yet have an entry in the Guinness Book of World Records for the highest number of holidays per capita per year. We urge the Ministry of Record-keeping and the Department of Broken Records to immediately take this up with the unconcerned authorities and set it right. It is a matter of national prestige that needs to be addressed with the urgency it deserves. It is high time that Nepal was known not just as the country where Gautam Buddha was born, and the land with a half-slice of Mt Everest, but also the headquarters of Workaholics Anonymous.
Despite all our holidays, however, we must not rest on our laurels. This is no time for complacency. We need to gird up our loins and other body parts to inculcate an even more laid-back attitude. Other countries like Tonga and São Tomé and Príncipe have just announced more national holidays, and they will soon overtake us if we do not announce no-work days.
The new federal, democratic, elusive constitution must in its preamble declare that the government should henceforth cease all work, because a gobarment that does nothing can’t make mistakes. It should be our constitutionally-guaranteed right to have a non-functioning state.
Here are some suggestions for holidays for days in the calendar that are still not in red and that can be declared national holidays:
Secularism Day (7 March, jointly celebrated with Shivaratri)
Constitution Deadlock Day (To Be Announced)
Second Thoughts About Federalism Day (24 April)
Day of National Mourning for Sugauli Treaty (2 December)
Great Leap Forward Day (29 February)
Buddha Was Born in Nepal Day (6 May)
Nepal Was Born in Nepal Day (6 March)
Comrade Prachanda Birthday (11 December)
Women’s Day (8 March)
Man Days (9-17 March)
Indian Independence Day (15 August)
Indian Blockade Day (24 September)
Losar #1 (9 February)
Losar #2 (9 March)
Losar #3 (12 April)
Losar #4 (14 April)
Losar #5 (TBA)
Losar #6 (Undecided)
Losar #7 (Open-dated)
12-Hour Load-Shedding Per Day
Black Market Every Day
Pollution Will Kill You One Day
No Water Night or Day
Jaundice Day
Diarrhoea Day
Cholera Day
Pay Day (Once in 6 Months for Journalists)
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