Now that elections look impossible in June, improbable in November and implausible in the 21st century, the Mao-Baddies seem to be losing interest in their own plan to make the CJ a CEO. To be exact, it is BRB who seems to be in the mood to back down and has been whispering to people that the whole CJ idea was to hold elections in June and if that ain’t happening then he’d rather like to reluctantly continue in office, thank you. The Justice-in-Chief is never going to forgive the Ideologue-in-Chief.
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The guy who is most miffed about this, of course, is Chairman Ferocity who staked all and was rubbing his hands with glee ever since he first disclosed the proposal at the Hasiya Conf in Hatauda. As paranoid as only the comrades can be, PKD is said to be more and more suspicious that BRB has pulled another fast one, has no intention of stepping down, and never had. Which is why Kamred Awesome is blowing kisses at Kiran Kaka again. Where does this leave the middlemen who brokered this deal, Shri Amrace and Shri Shitola, one wonders?
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The real reason the Justice-in-Chief ship is floundering is not because the opposition parties don’t want it (the Kangresis in fact have their tails wagging and paws in the air) but because the Task Force has been deadlocked by the Mau Mau proposal to include a ‘package’ that includes a watered down TRC Bill and impossible demands for seniority of integrated gorillas in the Nepal Army. If it hadn’t been for these demands and Comrade Rawal standing firm, Justice Rag-me would have already thrown his suitcase over the wall in Balu Water. And, speaking of our Praetorian Guards, since when did anyone give the generals the power to write to the censor board to stop a movie?
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After all the blood he helped shed during the war with an ideology that sanctioned hacking off hands of teachers and driving nails into the knees of class enemies, Com Red Flag seems to miss all the blood and gore. How else would one explain his extraordinary statement in Okhaldhunga the other day where he said that his party hadn’t abandoned the revolution, but was just slitting the throats of reactionaries ‘halal-style’. At first it seemed like a sloppy way to appease Muslim voters, until we saw that he said this in the presence on the podium of Bal Krishna (“I did Ujjan Shrestha in”) Dhungel.
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It’s not just BRB, his First Lady is also afflicted by foot-in-mouth and admitted publicly on Monday that she and she alone sanctioned building a highway bypass through the Garden of 22 Fountains in Balaju. She added: “We don’t want a constitution, we want development.” Ooops. Then Yummy’s hand-picked Attorney Generalissimo Comrade Mukti declared in a speech: “The Universal Declaration of Human Rights is out of date and not applicable to Nepal.” These guys aren’t going to be visiting Europe anytime soon, you can be sure of that.
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We hear Chairman Lotus Flower is mighty sore that Binod Chow-chowdhury beat him to the Forbes’ list of the stinking rich, Following Kingji’s example, PKD has refused to pay 15 lacks in water bills for KUKL tankers that brought water to his former Pistachio Palace twice a day. But in order to defuse an embarrassing protest during his visit to Chitwan on the anniversary of the Madi bomb, he promised families of victims 6 million bucks compensation, saying he had just got it sanctioned by the finance minister and prime minister. Only problem was, they hadn’t, Awesome was lying through his teeth as usual. When he got found out, to save face he got flunkies in Paris Danda to issue a cheque ‘from the party’.
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In order to ensure that evil compradors of Western Imperialists and Southern Expansionalists don’t influence our Dear Leaders, Kamikaze Narayan has got the Farang Ministry to issue guidelines about when and where netas can meet dips:
Keep the Qazi informed of all dates
Wear a bracelet with a GPS tracking device all the time
No more cocktails, especially in the vicinity of Lainchaur and Maharajganj
Get venue cleared by Ministry so they can plant bugs