17-23 May 2013 #656

Let’s have a date

Ass
AMIR JOSHI


Visa black-listing didn’t work, civil resistance had no effect, the police were useless, in the end it took divine intervention to stop a bund. Last week, the Dash Baddies called for a shutdown on the day Rato Machhendranath was to be pulled. The chariot has four wheels, so would be affected by a chukka jam. However, there was so much pressure from Patan constituents on Comrade Pumpa that the strike was called off. Moral of the story: only the gods can save this secular republic.?

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Not only is the Justice-in-Chief govt not able to announce a date for elections, it can’t even agree on a date on which to announce the poll date. The government spokesman said this week: “Today’s cabinet meeting was successful in agreeing on a final date by which we will come to a consensus about the date on which we will announce the date in November when we will hold an election.” Whew. That clears things up.

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This Unjustified cabinet was formed because the Big Four weren’t able to come up with a consensus on an election government. But the judicious government still can’t agree on an election date because, guess what, the Big Four can’t come up with a consensus on the modalities for elections. Let’s face it, the Chief Justice as Chief Executive isn’t working. They should have just appointed a donkey PM.

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PKD is the most indiscreet comrade around even when sober, but it is after a couple of swigs of Old Smuggler that he invariably blurts out what is really in his mind. Which is what he did at a recent boozeup with business cronies and party faithful during which the Ass was (in a manner of speaking) a fly on the wall. My plan (hic!), he is reported to have said, is to get Big Plop and gang to keep putting a spanner in the works so that elections can’t be held in November on one pretext or another. We will then sack the Regmi regiment and install myself as prime minister. Or words to that effect. You may say it was the whiskey talking, but PKD let out his game plan. He is telling all and sundry he has the green signal from both North and South to go ahead with the plan. He hopes to buy time to bring Baidya back into the fold, give the Madhesis time to cobble together an electoral alliance, and then shoot for elections under himself.

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And PKD might just pull it off, not because he is so smart or his electoral calculations are so accurate, but because the Kangresis and Eh-maleys are in such a state of utter disarray. What, after all, can you deduct from Jhusil Da’s statement that appointing LMSK as the Station Chief of the CIAA was “a mistake” and that agreeing to the CJ as PM was a “compulsion”. Can’t get any more anal than that.

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The past month it was Jhoos’ turn to lead the High Level Political Committee, but it barely met once. PKD’s strategy is to boycott all Mechanism meetings unless he is chairing it himself. At a noisy Balu Water meeting recently where the Big Four nearly came to blows, Sushil Da put it meekly to Awesome that he had changed his mind about Loktantra Man. The Fierce One blew a gasket and gave him such a tongue-lashing, SK didn’t dare speak up again. Also under pressure from his party for having pocketed 10 corrodes for agreeing to Corrupt Man Sing’s appointment to the CIAA was our very own Jhol Gnat and he too put up a feeble fight at the HLPC. The long and short of it is that Awesome got away with KRR and now MLSK, so he thinks he is even more Awesome than he was.

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LMSK supporters say appointing a certified crook to head the CIAA is like recruiting hackers to fight cybercrime.?

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Stats of the week:

**Amount BRB spent on his wedding with Comrade Hasiya in India: INR 11

**Amount BRB’s personal assistant, Comrade Light of the World, spent on his wedding this week:

NPR 10 million

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