22-28 December 2017 #889


It is our duty, as journalists, to adhere to the truth as far as humanely possible. But, now and then, we make mistakes. Who doesn’t? And when we do, it is part of our strict journalistic Code of Ethics to lie low and hope no one noticed. Just kidding. Actually, we issue a correction at the bottom of page 37 in such small fonts you need a microscope to read it. 

It may be a tiny typo or we may have got the name of the prime minister wrong, either way the important thing is to alert unsuspecting citizens about the blunder, acknowledge our short coming, and learn from our mistake so we can move on to make even greater ones in future. Such is life. Since this is a newspaper of record, we have broken all world records rectifying our erratum by promptly publishing corrections like the following:  

A typographical error crept into an article last week about Kathmandu being developed as an International Humour Centre. Sorry for that funny mistake. LoL. In actual fact, the city is turning into an International Tumour Centre.

A caption in the Entertainment Section of our online edition misidentified a new eatery in New Road as the Revolting Restaurant and Bar: it is in fact the Revolutionary Restaurant and Bar run by Comrade Big Plop’s faction of the ANNUS(R). The terror is regretted. 

We apologise to the UML’s Comrade Makuney for the major national crisis triggered by our headline on the Sports Page of yesterday’s edition, ‘Nepal Thrashed Badly’. The report was actually about Nepal’s soccer team being beaten 8-0 by Oman in the Asian qualifiers. 

An op-ed by Prof Chicken Little last week gave the impression that the world had ended. We are happy to report that the world is still very much around, according to a higher authority. “We’ll let you know if and when we decide to terminate the world,” The Almighty said in a statement, read out by a spokesperson. 

Due to confusion in the newsroom, the prime minister was incorrectly identified in yesterday’s editorial as Sher Bahadur Oli. The present premier is actually the Right Honourable K. P. Deuba. We apologise to both prime ministers. 

Several readers were hospitalised after trying out the weight-loss formula in the Backside column last week: ‘Visit Nepal and Lose Weight: Drink tap water and the ensuing diarrhoea will guarantee you will lose 10kg in one week or your money back.’ You were not supposed to take that literally, silly. Any incontinence regretted. 

Due to a fact-checking error, our Obituary Section yesterday announced the death of Mr Mark Twain. The report was exaggerated.

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