At the rate our god-fearing atheist comrades are turning to the opiate of the masses, one would think that Baddies have become fundoos too. Taking the lead in this is the CM, as behooves the hierarchical structure of the party. It was PKD who set the tone by worshipping a water buffalo on the holy banks of the Kosi in Chhatara to appease the gods. The next step for the Great Helmsman is to slaughter a water buffalo and sacrifice it to his hirsute European gurus which include Comrades Marx, Engels, Lenin, and the follicular-challenged Chairman Mau himself. It is only a short progression in the step-by-step ascent up god’s scheme of things to emulate kingji and do a panchabali, which involves the ritual sacrifice of five creatures: a buffalo, a sheep, a goat, a duck, and a pumpkin. The Ass is glad to note that donkeys are not on the list. But for someone who is used to human sacrifice, this must really be a piece of cake for Chairman Awesome.
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The Great Leader was seen with the Dear Leader in tow at a recent Bol Bam parade, clad in saffron headgear and praying together to Lord Shiva to create what they destroyed. Interestingly, they were in the illustrious company of none other than Comred Amrace. Looks like even our patron deities need patrons from across the political firmament to protect them in this worldly realm. Not able to block the National Human Rights Commission from instructing the Home Minister and police to investigate the Krishna Adhikari murder case, the Chairman seems to be beseeching a higher-up authoritarian. PKD’s transformation from Bol Bomb to Bol Bam is now complete.
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Maoism was never an atheist doctrine as we were led to believe all along, it was actually monotheist. But with Mr Zedong now thoroughly discredited not only in the land of his birth (and death) but also in Nipaw, comrades are falling at the feet of any godman that moves. Taking the cue from his boss and possibly under the impression that money can’t buy you divine love, Comrade Krishna was seen at the Evangelical Gospel Assembly Church being blessed by two parish pastors. Hands folded, eyes closed, Shri Krishna appeared to be in deep contemplation about how to get the cash out of the stash at election time. Problem is, a lot of that cash still has His Erstwhile Majesty Gyan’s crowned mugshot on it.
SETOPATI
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The CIAA has started digging selectively for dirt, arresting people for transformer scams and minor bribes, when the Rs 20 billion that the Baddies purloined in the name of taking care of their comrades in the cantonments doesn’t look like being investigated any time soon. For example, it seems the Peace Ministry kept giving out salaries and budgets for years towards the upkeep of 2,500 ex-guerrillas who did not exist. But who cares, when the headman is anointed by none other than Injun godman, Co-pilot Baba.
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We all thought it was the joke of the week that Baidya Baba told the High and Mighty Political Mechanics that he would take part in elections only if there weren’t going to be elections. But it’s not a joke anymore. The Mechanists told the media after Wednesday’s talks that, indeed, they were willing to postpone elections if that was what it took to bring Kiran Kaka into the fold. So, folks, just as the Ass predicted, you can go ahead with your November getaways. There ain’t going to be no elections till next year.
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The Mule’s mole at Lazingpat says PKD went to try to convince MBK to reunite the party before elections because otherwise both the Dash and Cash were in deep manure. Such is the power of persuasion of Kaka Ba that he instead convinced PKD that elections were just a ruse to finish him off once and for all and they should unite not to fight in elections, but against it.