As a reporter, I was invited to Paris Danda on Saturday at the Maoist HQ for a function to welcome a cadre defecting to the UCPN(M). We were invited at 8:30 because Prachanda had to dash off to the Tarai to make some speeches. The function was in the hall where party spokesman Agni Sapkota briefs journalists every Saturday morning.
I sat on a straw mat next to 3 or 4 boys wearing daura suruwal and holy sandalwood paste on their foreheads. Sapkota was reading out the names of those being inducted into the party. Then he said that members of the All Nepal Priests Federation were also joining the Maoist party. Prachanda rubbed vermilion on them and they became communists. Then, on Sapkota’s orders, there was the sound of holy conch shells being blown, and bells rang out with the chanting of Sanskrit mantras.
This was too much for me. I was once a true believer in the Maoist ideology. Where was the philosophy we had been indoctrinated in? I am a person who actually believed in Maoism and fought for it. We were told that religion was the opiate of the masses. We are supposed to have got over our addiction to religion. Sitting there on Saturday I felt our leaders were stoned on that opium.
The leaders had brainwashed me to join the revolution. Communists are supposed to believe in materialism and scientific analysis, they said, but it turned out to be a trick. Lately I have also come to believe in identity, so I was in a way glad that the priests were establishing their identity within the party. There is no rule that says Hindu priests can’t be communists, I thought. But I was also disillusioned to see how corrupt those who call themselves communist have become.
Om Shanti. The Sanskrit mantras were being chanted, and I suddenly caught a glimpse of Prachanda’s visage. The moustachioed commander of our guerrilla force was smiling. I felt like telling him: “You tricked us all, and now you are showing your true face.” I looked at the other comrades, they all seemed to be enjoying the show.
The leaders of the Maoists took advantage of a lot of Nepalis like me. As a Limbu boy, I set aside my Kirat culture, language, releigion and festivals to join the revolution. It shocked me to recollect my past. Now I am a journalist. I left the party 7 years ago. I quit communism. I have had enough of Maoism, Leninism, Marxism and all other -isms. I will go back to my Limbu identity.
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