Binita Duwadi and Bhim Bahadur Bishwakarma from Dhading fell in love and got married. The only problem: Binita’s Brahmin family did not approve of her inter-caste marriage with a Dalit boy. They disowned her and threatened to kill the two. The young couple then moved to Kathmandu and remained ‘underground’. Last Sunday, Binita was abducted from her college. Excerpts from her diary which was found during police investigation:
I was studying in 11th grade at Sidheshwor High School in Dhading when I first met Bhim. We became quick friends and fell deeply in love. Life felt complete with Bhim by my side. But my family came to know about our relationship and my life has never been the same.
They just couldn’t accept the fact that I was in love with a Dalit, someone they considered inferior. My relationship with Bhim supposedly brought shame to our ‘high caste’ family and they threatened to kill me if I didn’t agree to their demands. But how could I leave the love of my life for the sake of family honour? That too for something as superficial and outdated as the caste system? To me all that mattered was that Bhim was a hard-working man and he loved me. I never thought my educated family would stoop so low. They said I should commit suicide rather than be with someone who did not have their consent. When I refused, they planned to get me married to a Brahmin man.
Last month I left home and eloped to Kathmandu. But even here the torment didn’t end. The police arrested Bhim’s mother and younger brother after my family alleged them of kidnapping me. When I told the police that I had married Bhim out of my own will, they pressurised me to change my statement. I stood my ground. My brother handed me a packet of poison and said I would be better off dead.
In the days that followed my family continued to torture me, sending goons who threatened to kill us. So once again we had to move and go underground. My parents are now trying to find a husband for me from our caste and have even agreed to give him Rs 400,000.
Am I a doll to be bought and sold in the market? Is it really such a big crime in this country to fall in love with someone from the ‘wrong’ caste? And what does it say about our society that tries to separate two people in love? I stand by my decision and have happily embraced my new world with Bhim. I hope my family will come around and accept us. But if they are not willing to reconcile, I wish they would just leave us alone and let us live peacefully.