By fulfiling everyone’s demands – legitimate or not – this electoral government has earned itself a lot of applause from greased hands. So, without further ado, here’s my list of concerns that this government should pay attention to:
1. Permission to sell adulterated gold on dodgy scales.
2. Sewage must be treated as an essential component of drinking water.
3. Allow businesses to mix water and pesticide in milk.
4. Reduce LPG cylinder volume, increase cartelling and commissions.
5. Let public buses charge whatever they want.
6. Ambulances should be encouraged to smuggle red sandalwood.
7. Increase supply of smuggled fertiliser, sugar, drugs, weapons, and banned medicines.
8. Fees at schools and hospitals must be increased without obstruction.
9. Criminals should take part in elections.
10. Forgive those found guilty of crimes and reintegrate them back to society.
11. Encourage the exhibition of khukuris, swords, spears, and guns during polls.
12. Stop hotel raids, start flesh trade.
13. Wipe out the CIAA, encourage graft.
14. Institutionalise corruption.
15. Boost illegal sand and gravel mining.
16. Give salaries to those who come to work once a month.
17. Grant registration to stolen vehicles to allow their sale.
18. Encourage black market, artificial shortages, bill forgery, and tax evasion.
19. Legalise drinking and driving.
20. Allow lawyers to practice politics.
21. Permit businesses to mix kerosene in petrol, stones in rice, lard in butter.
22. Encourage all to deplete jungles and sell wood.
23. Let everyone steal electricity and establish industries.
24. Pay no attention to bird-flu.
25. Grant banks permission to inflate interest rates.
In short, Prime Minister, you must end the rule of law.
Best regards,
Keshab Bhattarai
Associate Editor, Chitwan Post