26 June - 2 July 2015 #764

Love > Distance

Long distance relationship can be inconvenient and frustrating but it shouldn't be a dealbreaker
Anjana Rajbhandary

Hi all,

People think long distance relationships (LDR) don’t generally work, but this doesn’t mean living in the same city as your partner guarantees a happily ever after. Nowadays, love is quite underrated so you have to see something in the other person to even consider making an effort. Some can wait, most don’t. If you have a partner you can trust, someone who you value, can communicate with, have a strong friendship with, and selfless love- then the bond is definitely stronger than many. If you truly love someone, being loyal is easy.

In all honesty in the long run, a LDR can be inconvenient and frustrating but it shouldn’t be a dealbreaker. If the two people, are able to see the distance as a temporary test than a permanent relationship challenge, and both want it to work and believe in it: it is very likely that the relationship will thrive. Of course, there has to be a plan to see each other regularly with a strong potential that at some point, sooner than later, the two people will be in the same place.

Please send questions to: askanjanaanything@nepalitimes.com or @AnjyRajy 

Hello, I’m trying to make a long distance relationship work. We live on opposite sides of the world but I love him. People say it won’t work but I also know some couples who have managed to stay together despite the distance. Can our love survive the distance?

-B

AR: I feel it is possible for two people to be in two different parts of the world and make their relationship work, that being said, there also needs to be some confirmation that eventually there is a possibility of the two people being in the same city or within acceptable distance.

Communication, optimism and trust are key to make a LDR work. Are you and your partner on the same page with similar expectations and working equally hard to make this work? People in LDR tend to be more forthcoming about their feelings. Be more honest, acknowledge that it will be hard and you will want to give up at times, so ask yourself if you are ready to do this. Can you and your partner wait for each other till there is a possibility to be with each other more permanently than just on a vacation or trip back home?

Not having enough physical interaction can put a strain on any relationship. Is it possible for both of you to be a supportive part of each other’s lives? If you cannot imagine being without the person, try not to give up on your partner. It really doesn’t matter what other people say, because it is your life and your relationship.

Both should want to be together and both should be willing to work together. I believe when two people want to make a relationship work, they find a way and when they don’t, they find an excuse. Only time can tell what will happen, but it is rare to find someone who makes you want to put in the extra effort. Good luck.

Anjana is a certified mental health rehabilitation technician and has four years of experience in adult mental health in Maine, USA.

Read also:

9 (Exclusive) benefits of being in a long distance relationship

The human connection, Anjana Rajbhandary