Nepali Times
Back at Sundarijal >44

Through a gap on the prison gate, BP Koirala spies police going in to interrogate Ganesh Man Singh, who is also in solitary confinement at Sundarijal. BP rues the fact that they did not discuss their common position and fears that the police will come to him to confront him with Ganesh Man's statements. BP also ruminates on the realisation that he is in a psychologically weaker state than during his first imprisonment in the early 1960s and wonders why this is the case.

Friday, 22 April 1977

There were some unusual activities outside the gate, and I saw through the gate chink the white car of the Anchaladhish (ass.). I think they have interrogated GM as they did me 4 days ago. Yesterday perhaps Mangalaji has seen GM like Sushila did me before on interrogation. I don't know what GM had said. My line has been not to make any statement to the police in the cases that are pending in court. I fear that GM may not take this line. Moreover, I am for exposing the govt itself in the course of our trial.

It will not be we who will be on trial, but the govt itself. Therefore we must reserve our statement, if we have to make any, for the court. In my case they had permitted Ganeshrajji to see me for a while-inconsequentially no doubt-before the interrogation. I don't know whom Mangalaji has employed as GM's legal adviser-there is nobody better than Ganeshrajji in Nepal, altho his stature, personality and even legal ability are not equal to the task of defending the most important political case in the history of Nepal. He is too meek, lacks aggressive energy and is also a heart patient. Now that GM's interrogation is over, he should be brought back to the camp-because we had been given to understand that we were being separated only temporarily for the purpose of interrogation. I have an apprehension that they will again come to me to confront me with GM's statement, and to know what I have to say about some details in it. Well, I know what I will say, but this process with.the rejoining by GM of this camp. In any case, tomorrow is Saturday when no work is done. Even if nothing further in the matter of interrogation will be done, the order for GM's transfer to this camp will have to go to the army HQ which will transmit the instructions to the camp commander in a process which will begin on Sunday and implemented on Monday at the earliest.

There was no light in the evening. They brought petromax for dinner, I was left in total darkness after that and as I was preparing to go to bed they brought a hurricane lantern and a match box. I have asked them to get some candles for such occasions. The light came in the night but I didn't have the energy to rise from bed to put it off. Towards the evening I felt a little better altho pain in the chest persists and weakness also. In the afternoon I had a very serious type of black out (baunna?).

I am waiting, waiting for GM's return to this camp.

Saturday, 23 April

It appears that GM had a 2nd occasion today of police interrogation. He is being subjected to long sessions of interrogation-which means his responses appear to be productive as far as the police is concerned. GM is in the habit of making unnecessarily long speeches and is given to talks which propensity put up during these months found an outlet in the interrogation. I think tomorrow also they will come for him, and I think I will also want to have occasion with me in light of what GM has said in the interrogation. It was a mistake that we didn't work out jointly the details of the statement we are going to make either to the police or to the court. We had discussed in a very general way the lines of argument of defence that we individually would make. GM may have missed the whole point of the discussion. It is all my conjecture. He may not have said anything to the police to help them to frame the charges-but the fact that there had been a session is ominous. If they come tomorrow also then my pessimistic conjecture would appear convincing. I dread to meet them again-but I am certain that they would come to me one of these days. I know what answer to give but it leaves a hard taste in my mouth to meet them. They are so distrustful. Or I may be wrong, they are good men, perhaps at heart, and embarrassed at having to do this untasteful act. I am perhaps not being fair to them. They were courteous to me and if DSP appeared a little official and slightly stiff, it may have been due to the embarrassment. They were definitely deferential.

I am feeling a little better since two days there has been no discharge of blood in my sputum. Feeling of boredom is no disease. I washed my head and feet and when I wanted to take a regular bath I felt too cold. I propose to bathe tomorrow if the day is warm. My mood is alright. The hidden weakness of my character which I was not aware of outside became evident since my arrest this time. Since the very 2nd day I have been feeling positively homesick and lonely, occasionally depressed and subject to melancholic blues. I was never so before. What has happened to weaken my character? I can't attribute my present psychological state to solitary confinement alone-because it started with the very moment of imprisonment, before the slow process of adverse effect on my psychology would even start. I will have to discuss this with Shailaja if I will get an opportunity to do it.
As usual, a very dull day.

(11 JAN 2013 - 17 JAN 2013)