These are the last few pages from BP Koirala's diary from his second time in jail and his release spanning a period from December 1977 till April 1979. The entries are few and far between, it is clear BP is suffering deep depression. His words range from the mundane (price of his prison diet) to an analysis of why King Birendra missed an opportunity by not releasing him. BP was finally released in March 1978.
A dramatic period of Nepali history was soon to unfold with the student-led agitation and the 1980 Referendum in which the multiparty democracy camp lost 55:45 percent. BP Koirala died two years later in Kathmandu on at the age of 68. This the end of transcripts from BP's diary that has been carried in this space.
My weight is 62 kg
16.12.77 Interview day. This time Thulodaju + Bhauju also came along with the usual group of people who come to see me. I am meeting Thulodaju and Bhauju after 8 years. They had gone to Benares to attend Prakash's marriage in 1969. They appeared to be in good shape. Bhauju said that she had some eye trouble.
[Nepali poetry, see insert from diary]
1. Breakfast a cup of milk + a piece of dry bread .75
2. Lunch Bread (dry) veg. Salad 1.50
3. Tea Apiece of cheese, orange or apple 1.80
Or any seasonal fruit + biscuits or tea
4. Dinner Bread + dal added with some veg. .75
5. Supper a cup of milk .50
Meat once a week 3 /- Rs 5.45
I want to stick to this dietary discipline. I must begin by curtailing the expenses on food in my pursuit of simple way of life. Here the problem is that I can't experiment with simple inexpensive food. GM can't adjust to simple food preparations + to reduce intake.
John Fowles: novels 1. magus 2. French Lt's Woman 3. Daniel Martin
John Cheever: Falconer "The loneliness of prisoner and memories and the need of basic companionship in the themse of this deeply emotional novel" -Time
Philip Roth: the Professor of Desire "wrestling with sex and guilt" -Time
A large no. of relations came to see me the day being interview day. Sushila was also there sparkling like the diamond tops that she was wearing. She had put on a Nepali cholo, a concession to the Kathmandu winter. Shailaja, Mainya (Naresh's mother), had given her two . on the day she visited here when Mainya was also there. I am happy to see her after a long time. I patted her when she was leaving and she gave me a look both of frankness and surprise at my behaviour. I am noticing it today that she has a pair of . eyes bright and expressive. They alone, it appears, seem to have retained her . glory.
Sushila became authoritative with me and she gave me a lot of advice. How I should live in prison, wouldn't permit me to wear the new spectacles which I had got from here, because, according to her, the frame didn't suit me.about my watch too she was particular about its shape and size. I like this tender bossing because I know she loves me dearly. I have not been able to give her the affection she has always yearned for from me-single minded love. This affectionate bossing-trying to rule over my conduct-is an indication of her self-confidence and also her confidence in me, in spite of everything. I am happy to see the confidence that in her. I have been telling her during acute crises in our relationship that the 1st basis of a worthwhile human existence is human dignity and that dignity being the primary basis of human existence.
While she was entering my section of the enclosure via GM's she abruptly turned around to accost GM who had called her from his side, and sprained her leg. She was limping. I touched and lightly massaged her swollen feet-which had become blue and swollen . afterwards when she had gone and I was left reflecting and alone I felt that in the eye of others my unpremeditated action would appear demonstrative. I am perhaps demonstrative in love-demonstrative not posturing. Love is perhaps a victory, it is a triumphant ride in a chariot. It is a service-no one has yet called its glory a demonstarative posture.
19.1.78 the Supreme Court has rejected Shailaja's habeus corpus petition on my behalf. I had expected a positive verdict. My expectation was based on the assumption that the best way for the king to get out of the embarrassing situation would be to make use of the Supreme Court to effect my release on health grounds without however lifting the cases against me. GM, too, in this assumption should be released on bail, for which he had applied to in the Supreme Court. We would be out of prison and left to fight the legal battle as best as we can and the political pressure would thus be reduced on the king. The situation outside isn't such as to enable us to mount any effective political offensive and the legal battle would be tiringly long process which would in course of time take away the initial popular interest in us. We have no political program at present, and in present situation we can't even attempt to create public opinion. I think the king has missed his opportunity. I am full of Shailaja today.
2.2.78 Why do you have to tell me in every message that you send me that I must be free from all "anxieties" that I must trust you
24.9.78 . What is love? What is its glory?
26.9.78 Any emotion-love included-that expresses itself through the medium of . loses its primary energy and purity in the process. Like a river passing through a vast desert,. Say "yes" to life. Be positive. Madalasa was with me for a few minutes. In my present mental state those words from her came as a great solace-truth or no truth.
1.10.78 Sushila + Chetana came. I couldn't go to receive them at the airport because of my knees.
13.10.78 Shailaja came from Varanasi. Brought some fruits for me.
17. Extremely distressed and distraught
I was prevented from landing at the Biratnagar airport. A group of hired people led by Dilbahadur (same Diba) infested the landing ground with the connivance of the govt. Repetition of the scene at the Pokhara airport and a few months ago where under similar situation the plane carrying me was not permitted to land.
1.4.79 I was served with a notice, to confine my movement to the Kathmandu Valley
27.4.79 At midnight precisely at 11:20 pm I was put under house arrest. The notice was served by a DSP and the order was from acting CDO. And immediately afterwards armed guards were posted around the house under an inspector. Kisunji and GM were also arrested and send to their places of detention-Nakhu + Police Training Centre. The telephone was also cut off, but not before I could inform some of our friends about my detention.