Nepali Times
Don of a new era


The pace at which top cops are being sent to jail and top dons released, we are soon going to have a situation where the Central Jail will be full of policemen behind bars and they will be guarded by Mafioso wardens. Which will be a fitting tribute to the don of a new era in New Nepal.


After suffering an editorless week, Kathmandu's main papers are back to their normal selves again. Just as well, because we were getting headlines like 'Promotion for 2011 Nepal Tourism Year in 2012'. And an English language one which, while trying to provide a service to its non-Nepali speaking readers, translated the name of the Rastriya Janashakti Party as National Manpower Party.


Everywhere else in the world, 'Darfur' is a humanitarian disaster, but in Nepal it is a scam. And the reason Krishna Sitaula went to see the Maximum Leader at the Pistachio Palace recently was not about forming a new consensus government, but to ask him to call off the blistering attacks in Nepal's largest circulation newspaper alleging his involvement in the Sudan caper. "I know you know I'm not involved. I also know you know you are involved, so why don't you talk to the editor," was Sitaula's message.


Mercifully, the political parties have now issued a moratorium on those complicated multi-point deals like the 12-points agreement, the 7-point agreement or 5-point agreement that they never fulfill. PKD met JN the other day and the PMO spokesman told the ambush press later: "They had a one sentence agreement." So it's now come down to sentences, and we can only guess what that one was: 'I will pretend to ask for your resignation, you will pretend to want to resign, but you won't until I tell you to'.


The Standing Committee meeting at UML Potala in Balkhu was quite heated by all accounts. (Maybe they shouldn't have standing meetings, and should all sit down and relax.) Anyway, JN was unusually prompt and accommodative and allowed himself to be convinced. Just then, Leftist God Bum Dev, was seen to surreptitiously SMS someone on his mobile. Because seconds later, JN's phone rings. The prime minister just listens and grunts. Then he tells the Standing Committee the deal's off and he's going to swear the Maoists in. He drives off in a cloud of dust to Shit All Nibas. No prizes for guessing who Bum Dev was texting and who called JNK.


It's all coochi-coohi-coo between El Moustachio and Jhusil these days. They just can't get enough of each other, and are going all touchy feely in public. Sushil Da even told PKD at a memorial to his cousin, GPK, the other day: "There is no one I can confide in after Girija Babu died. You should take the lead and become prime minister." Jhusil wasn't just trying to be polite he was trying to prevent BRB from leading the next govt and also to destroy any chance Lion Brave may have to making it to Balu Water again. Wily old fox.


And the medal for Junketeer-in-Chief in the present cabinet goes undisputably to Upadro Yadav who has just travelled to Brazil via Lithuania and Belgium. The reason is ostensibly to inaugurate the new Nepal Embassy in Brasilia, but it seems the five member delegation is having a grand time at Copacabana beach. Can just picture Upadro in thongs with Renu in tow dancing to the tune of Laila Majnu. Dhananjay ("Whiskey in the Jar") Jha is also on the entourage hungover after a massive boozeup in Brussels. Nepalis in Belgium have petitioned the foreign ministry to stop him being our next envoy to the EU, re.


After the grand success in Delhi, it's only a question of time before the Slut Walk comes to Kathmandu. CA members, who don't seem to have much to do anyway, could take part. Charitraheen Chelis, where are you when the nation needs you?

1. g6
the only sluts in nepal are the politicians o should i say polititues. and from what i understand they are already walking all over our faces with their smelly thumbs stuck in our nostrils. 

2. Gheo Chaku Naran.
  Tai chup mai chup.

"I know you know  I am not involved,I  also know you know, you are involved."- should be the quote of the year. Gaijatra is coming soon.

Why not make it the national slogan/theme of the coming gaijatra?
Shit-aula need not go to Pistacio Place or Penisdado  for that. We have been castigating the mules and not the kingpins or queenholes all these years.
Contraband goods  are sometimes confiscated selectively, but the perpetrators are never caught. This is the poetic justice a la Nepalensis.

(11 JAN 2013 - 17 JAN 2013)