Nepali Times
ASS
Backside
Best of the worst

ASS


The donkey's buddies decided to watch Portugal-North Korea at one of several Korean restaurants in Kathmandu that are run by diplomatic license (canine bulgogi was off the menu, but thanks for asking). It is probably the only North Korean establishment in the world that is sponsored by an American
multinational, and at the end of the evening a waitress with a DPRK flag pinned to her hanbok delivered the bill, which added another touch of authenticity because it was all in Korean and we had no idea what we'd just eaten. The Revenue Dept will be glad to know, however, that 13%VAT was charged. No service charge, but this isn't the kind of establishment where krantikari waiters are going to go on strike anytime soon.

***

Despite the rented crowd of Chinese fans complete with a cheerleader in the stands to orchestrate vuvuzela blowing, the democratic socialist Koreans are out of the World Cup. Wonder if human rights organisations are tracking the fate of the North Korean World Cup team to see what happens to them on their return home after playing Cote d'Ivoire on Friday. Before the games the North Korean captain told the media their sole aim was to "make the Dear Leader proud". Well, they've probably made Dear Leader an Angry Leader. Even if the North Korean national team have their sentence commuted to life imprisonment, it is certain that the striking strikers of Les Bleus will be executed on the tarmac when they fly back to Pari.

***

Moving right along to something completely different. Awesome decided to skip an important Politburo meeting because he wanted to attend Manisha's wedding bash at the Soaltee. So BRB, Com Yummy, Janata Janardan and General Pasang decided to take the afternoon off to go to the movies. Once at Kumari, who do they see in the lobby but Com Kaji Naran, who was also in the mood for a flick. Mr Fotocopy looked a tad envious that his rival for No.2 in the party had his wife and two PLA commanders in tow while he just had a bodyguard, but decided to join the group anyway. The movie was Rajneeti, where Realpolitik and Reelpolitik collide head-on. Kaji Kamred was seen squirming as Ajay Devgan, Ranbir Kapoor and Katrina Kaif engaged in pretty realistic back-stabbing, double-crossing and intra-party conspiracies. Must have reminded him of the ongoing skullduggery within his own party.

***

Anyway, back at the Manisha wedding, PKD hobnobbed with royalists and republicans and even managed to smile at a joke or two about how the real Samrat Dahal got the girl while the wannabe-Samrat not only didn't become emperor, he didn't even get the prime ministership. Interesting, though, that while Jackie Shroff donned the daura suruwal with topi, the Ex-Sri Punch and Ex-PM both came in western suits.

***

Who says the Makunay Sarkar is lameduck? It has already notched up quite a few achievements. Foreign Policy magazine has ranked Nepal 26th from the bottom in its Failed States Rankings, pipping Sri Lanka (22nd), Pakistan (12th) and Afghanistan (10th). Also, we are now 127th in the development lineup and have only five hours of power cuts a day. The number of rhinos poached has been slashed from 12 last year to 11 this year, and govt-sponsored logging of Tarai forest has added 0.5% to our GDP growth.

So it's official: GON is the best among the most awful countries on Earth.

***

Nepal's uncivil servants were going on strike on the same week as some others set off to Langtang to learn climbing skills before they attempt to climb Mt Everest next spring. And all this is happenign while the Right Honourbale Makunay gathers civil servants over at Singha Darbar for a three-day drubbing. Why don't the civil servants just get on with their social climbing and leave the real mountaineering to civil society?

ass(at)nepalitimes.com



1. who cares

only idiots watch indian movies¬

and¬

not just that, they are the one who are effected by the movies.

the maoist politics do look like indian movie politics or gangsters' activities.

what is going on in foot ball?

are power house diminishing or little boys have grown up?

looks like any one can beat any one.<


2. tenzin

Eazy on the North Koreans and their hard working footballers, they should be proud to have made to the World Cup Finals. I thought ASS  had more dignity and sided with the underdogs.

Disappointed Fan.



3. Sherab
I am glad Manisha proved that she is afterall Nepal's daughter. Usually people who have earned a fame like her would not have their feet on the ground. I also like how she never talks big. She must be a real down-to-earth person. I wish her and Samrat a happy married life! 

LATEST ISSUE
638
(11 JAN 2013 - 17 JAN 2013)


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