Nepali Times
Everyone has his share


To, to recap this week's main news: Monday MKN met PKD, Tuesday MKN, GPK met, then PKD, MKN and GPK all met together before they brought in JNK, NKS and RCP, and CPG met MKN on the sidelines of all this. On Wednesday PKD met RBY and soon after MKN also met RBY and then they all met individually with RS. On Thursday MKN, PKD, JNK, RCP, NKS all met once more and at the time of going to press, the meeting had expanded to include ABC, IJK, MNO, QRS, and XYZ.

It looks like all we in the media do these days is report on who met who, who flew off and who came back from junkets abroad. Speaking of which Makunay is leading a jumbo 56-member donor-financed delegation to Copenhagen that includes nine ministers. More than 600 Nepalis are already at the Climate Summit according to latest estimates, making the Nepali delegation the highest per capita carbon emitter at the conference. They should all ride bicycles for one year to make up.


The holy trinity of MKN, PKD and GPK are now reportedly so sick and tired of their meeting agenda getting prematurely ejaculated into the national media that Makunay suggested at their confab Tuesday that the three should meet at Kala Patthar just to get away from the prying press. They underestimate the Nepali media's hound-dog tenacity and herd mentality, though.

Thereupon, Awesome is supposed to have said: "Now you understand why I had to go to Singapore?" Actually we gather the real substantial meeting was not in S'pore at all but at the transit lounge at Suwarnapoom. Which leads us to think that the reason both Makunay and Ferocious always want to meet somewhere else is because Baluwatar, Paris Danda, Pistachio Palace and Balkhu have never been swept for bugs. Another reason we shouldn't allow the Chinese to build our consulate in Lhasa, who know what they'll sneak into those walls.


You've all been waiting with bated breath to hear the Ass' take on the Airbus deal. Sorry to disappoint you, comrades, but the Donkey gives it a thumbs up. Look at it this way, it is a USD 200 million deal for the 330 and 320, right? Even if it is only a ten percent kickback that means 20 million smackeroos will theoretically be in the hands (palms?) of Nepalis.

This would raise Nepal's per capita GNP by a couple of percentage points, and we get to keep the planes too. Everyone has his share, the airline can fly jets it desperately needs, Airbus sells two more planes and saves jobs in Europe, Nepal gets richer and everyone can live happily ever after. Which is why it is so completely daft that some born losers are trying to put a spanner in the works. Apparently most party stalwarts, ministerial honchos, CAAN authoritarians, the airline board, even the anti-corruption watchdogs have been suitably lubricated. But they forget the PACmen, which is why the deal is stuck. But only temporarily, because all that needs to be done is share the wealth around a bit more.

The Ass is quite impressed with NAC CEO SRK, who seems to have a knack for these things, and boasted to the media that he had 'trapped' the govt into agreeing with the deal by paying Airbus an advance. Good thinking, it's this sort of go-getter attitude that will allow Nepal to leapfrog in the Long March into a prosperous future. The way to look at it is: there would be kickbacks anyway whichever plane NAC acquired, so our policy should be to allow constructive corruption. That way, everybody gets a share.


The Baddies declared Sunday's unscheduled mori-bund 'peaceful' and a 'grand success' because vans were vandalised, an ambulance was assassinated, drug stores were ransacked, there was a bonfire of buses in Lamki, Pokhara lakeside restaurants were forced to close on pain of death, Thamel shops got door-to-door threats. Syabas!

The govt is so hard-up it allowed a Kollywood potboiler to be shot on location inside the former royal palace. Now that the mating season is in full swing it could make a killing by renting the venue out as Narayanhiti Party Palace.


1. ripvanwinkle
k lastima, just two planes i was hoping for more, like 20, imagine with 2 you get 20 milliones with 20 you will make 400 million. that would be really significant percentage. and hopefully enough for everyone to let us get on with our lives. but pockets in nepal run deeeeeep very deep. and with just 2 planes i honestly dont believe that there will be enough to carry general public anywhere. but always the dignitaries are on the run and since public is actually means exclusive to vips and vvips and the maoists, i will make sure to have a glimpse of the planes that cost us 220 usd which we will pay with the money that we dont have from tinkune. dear ass i cant help but ponder was the buying or the avions simplified because of the recent flyover of PKD;GPK;MKN etc, etc. in foreign airlines where you actually need to pay.

(11 JAN 2013 - 17 JAN 2013)