Nepali Times
Conjugal ministeries and first relatives


The Maobuddies may be against absentee landlordism, but there is nothing they seem to be able to do about absenteeism during Constituent Assembly plenaries. As the house reconvened last week after the Dasain recess, only 32 of the 601 members were present in their seats.

Part of the reason is that Nepal's donors seem to have decided that the best way to help Nepal at the present time is to send our MPs abroad in large herds during the holiday break. Soon after a big Nepali delegation returned from South Africa, 11 honourable members of the august house are in Japan and 30 assembly members are in Germany and Switzerland this week to learn how federalism works.

Meanwhile, the clock is ticking on the constitution-writing process with only 18 months left, and the members haven't even been able to agree on the rules of procedure. One rule that should be immediately implemented is a moratorium on junkets.


Not a week goes by without Comrade Dam Dev trying out something new. Last month, it was a curfew on dance restaurants, two weeks ago he went after cybercafes, last week it was the turn of sidewalk vendors and this week he has started cracking down on construction material dumped on the footpath. All these moves have since been revoked amidst protests. Wonder what it will be next week: ban Fashion TV? Leftist God is in a hurry because he has to go off to the People's Republic (not ours, theirs) next month and he needs to tie some loose ends before that. Bum Dev is Home Minister even though he lost the election because he is the go-between between the UML and the Maobaddies. Which may be why the Middle Kingdom is grooming him because he is the only one who can get the two parties to unite, call the new entity CPN and drop the Maoist puchhar.

Comrade Ferocious is not one who is deterred by a coy Koirala playing hard-to-get. After all, he met the ex-king last week so he must've thought the ex-premier would be a piece of cake. He took the ex-royal chopper to the far west, but when Romeo Alpha Golf developed a tail rotor snag in Mahendranagar, Comrade Bhayankar personally called Girjau on his mobile to fix an appointment. But he got the brush-off and was told to talk to his secretary to find out when he was free. Imagine the cheek. Undeterred, when he got back to KTM on a standby helicopter, Bhayanak went personally to the Koirala Abode like an over-persistent suitor.

The prime minister desperately seeking kangresis to join the government. The question is what for? What good will that do? We hear GP is also under pressure from internationals to stop sulking. But everyone underestimates the Old Fox's stubbornness.


When newspapers broke the story that dozens of guests were evicted from Sneha and Batika hotels in Nepalganj to accommodate the prime ministerial entourage, their editors probably expected us to be shocked. But nationwide, us readers just gave a big wide yawn. So what else is new?

Nepalis are so used to netas doing netagiri from absolute monarchs, to democrats they voted for, to elected totalitarians, that nothing surprises us anymore.

The Ass, having being bumped off a domestic flight over Dasain despite having a confirmed ticket, to make way for some ex-junglee VIPs is definitely not surprised.

Comrade Sita went to the India Sari Palace at Jackson Heights in NY to pick up some silk saris. So? And First Son
(Prakash the Computer Secretary-cum-Body Guard) is hobnobbing with ex-royalist tycoons. Whatever.


The Baidya-Baburam rift is turning ugly with both sides hurling missiles at each other through the media. As the party convention next month draws nearer, Comrade Kiran has made a pre-emptive strike by submitting a top secret memorandum to the party secretariat in which, among other things, he lashes out at Indian expansionism and hints that certain comrades in the party are Delhi's chamchas. The doc's hardline supporters are reportedly going to raise the issue in the party convention next month about this, and of First Relatives in the prime ministerial foreign entourage and the conjugal ministries of finance and tourism.


The big issue during UN Secretary General Ban-Ki Mun's visit to Nepal next week will be who takes more credit for Nepal's peace process. Does the UN need Nepal more than Nepal needs the UN?


(11 JAN 2013 - 17 JAN 2013)