Nepali Times Asian Paints
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Backside
Goodies and Baddies

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It was bound to happen sooner or later. A section of disgruntled Baddies have gone off and set up a splinter party called Revolutionary Armed Wing (RAW) accusing Comrade Bhayanak of going pink and selling out on the revolution by turning into lackeys of running dog imperialists. The Madhesi armed groups are ex-Baddies and so are the assorted militants in the eastern hills, but those are ethnic-based splinters. This one is in-house.

There is also growing disillusionment among mid-level guerrilla commanders about the same comrades getting to be ministers again and again, while the ones who sacrificed and suffered during the revolutionary war haven't been rewarded with ministerships. Bhayanak is under pressure to expand the government by making some dissidents state ministers and balancing the cabinet composition with excluded ethnicities and women. But there are no houses left in the ministers' quarters at Harihar Bhaban, and the government has given away its last black Kia for the personal use of First Lady Sita.

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So, Mr & Mrs Dahal are both getting their US visas after convincing Nancy at a visa interview conducted in Singha Darbar on Tuesday that they're not high-risk visitors and will return to Nepal. Seems it was touch and go. After all, this is a country where when a Nepali singer gets a five-year multiple entry visitor's visa, the news makes it into the papers. It does look like the prime minister's Norwegian visa may be home delivered, though.

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One shouldn't get too worked up about Maoist squatters encroaching on a community forest in Dhading last week. All it means is that the Baddies aren't going back to the jungles because there are no jungles left to go back to.

Also, as someone said last week at Reporter's Club, no way the Maoists are going back to the jungle because you can't drive a Pajero in the jungle. To which another kangresi retorted: "A leopard will never turn into a vegetarian." News just in: GPK has become vegetarian while PM has turned carnivore again.

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There are so many foundation stones to be laid that our honourable prime minister just hasn't had the time to figure out what on earth he's going to do in India. Neither have the Indians, for that matter, who hadn't been told by press time who was in the entourage, or why they were coming. So, they're packing the PM off to Bangalore for the weekend to get him out of their hair. At the rate Chabilal Baje has been meeting Godmen and blessing new school buildings with akshyata while priests chant mantras, it wouldn't a massive surprise if the Dahals snuck in a little side visit to Puttaparthi.

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Awesome's waiting for his party's instructions about what not to talk to the Indians about, and we're told it's a fairly long list. But this being the man who once said Nepal was not a sweet potato but a dynamite stick between two boulders, he is sure to lago things to a tarkik niskarsa. If the Chinese were sending a message by presenting the visiting PM with a double bed ("Give it a rest, Comrade") maybe the Indians will outdo them by giving Mr Dahal something symbolic like a couple of jerry cans of diesel.

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Meanwhile, back at the ranch, it looks like BRB is still in a deep sulk. But the Ass can confirm that rumours about him resigning after delivering the budget speech next week are exaggerated. As soon as he became financial minister Comrade Laldhoj liked to say that he would announce a budget that would transform Nepal's economy from slithering like a snake to leapfrogging like a toad. But looks like he is planning something even more ambitious because he told a gathering this week the budget would "hop like a kangaroo".

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And this week's winning entry for the New Name Contest is Major Anupam, who wants the dhojabahak, Nepal Airlines, to be renamed Laldhoj Airlines, since Mrs Laldhoj is Truism Minister.

ass(at)nepalitimes.com



LATEST ISSUE
638
(11 JAN 2013 - 17 JAN 2013)


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