Nepali Times Asian Paints
ASS
Backside
Sowing wild oaths

ASS


Notice how the hoo-ha about the Vices President swearing in Hindi died out as soon as it started? Even when VP Jha ignored the Supreme Court order to come up with a written explanation, there was not a twitter. No prizes for guessing who had a hand in turning the anti-Hindi switch on, and who turned it off again.

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You get rid of one set of royals and another set of neo-royals take over. Giriraja hadn't finished his chores in New Delhi, so the Nepal Airlines flight had to wait at the tarmac the whole day to bring him back. Remember how Gyanu took the 757 on safari to Botswana? At Tin Kune, the intersection was closed for traffic for 45 minutes for the prime ministerial cavalcade could pass, reminding us of the bandobast for royal comings and goings. Government gray coats, army brass, diplomats and the panchaya kanyas all had to troop to the airport just as they did during the bad old days of monarchy.

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If a prime minister who has already resigned can lead our delegation to the SAARCASTIC Summit, then it wasn't such a big deal for Education Minister Pradeep Nepal, who resigned from the government with other UML ministers in April, to lead the Nepali delegation to the Olympics. The contingent has eight athletes and 30 officials, among them the good minister's wife, Ms Nepal. In fact none of the UML ministers has yet given up their official residences or office vehicles.

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But someone who couldn't go to the Olympics even though he hasn't resigned was none other than President Yadav. Notwithstanding the Ass' exclusive report last week, it looks like the prez had to call it all off even after he had packed all his bags. The reason was an unexpected visit by the ambassador of a neighbouring country to the south the name of which begins with "I" which shall remain nameless, who apparently told His Excellency: "Naya Nepal mein to naya trend chahiye." Or words to that effect. If Nepal's head of state has to first go to India before he goes to China, then Yadav Sir should have just taken the morning Jet flight to Delhi on Tuesday, said a quick hi to President Pratibha Patil, and got back on the afternoon Jet flight to take the night Dragon Air flight to Hong Kong.

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Pukada is looking a bit under the weather lately, which is why he sought spiritual solace from Yogi Kamalnarayanacharya of Muktinath whom he addressed as "Swamiji" and touched his feet. Wait a minute, aren't these guys supposed to be godless atheists? Or is Pukada getting pangs of conscience about all the deaths he caused and now wants to make acts of contrition? The encounter seems to have cheered up the Supremo, who emerged wearing a garland of cloves, jubilant after being blessed by the Yogi.

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But is PKD concerned about feelers he is getting that it may be better to let BRB become prime minister for now. But strong lobbying from abroad has been met with an equal and opposite reaction from within the party where Mohan Dada and his left-hand man are said to be dead against the idea. Baburam got quite worked up at the Baddie central committee meeting the other day and went out of his way to prove that he wasn't a raw spy. Later, he issued a statement to media listing all the anti-Indian things he has done in his life. But doth Lal Dhoj protest too much?

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The Ass' mailbox is overflowing this week with New Names for a New Nepal sent in by Ram Chaudhary, Mona, Jujubhai and Grimaji:
? Gorkhapatra changed to Goru-kha-patra
? Jhalanath Khanal changed to Jholnath Khanal
? Rajbiraj changed to Rambiraj
? Maharajganj changed to Maharaganj
? Satdobato changed to Satdalkobato (Seven parties are going everywhere, but getting nowhere)
? Mahanagarpalika changed to Mahanarakpalika (due to existing hellish state of affairs)

Entries to the New
Name Contest should be sent to
ass(at)nepalitimes.com



LATEST ISSUE
638
(11 JAN 2013 - 17 JAN 2013)


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