Here are my new year resolutions for 2005:
1. A night-cap before bed, and only Royal Tag whiskey since it has the word 'royal' in it and enhances our commitment to constitutional monarchy.
2. Since breathing Kathmandu air is like smoking a pack of cigarettes a day, I will start smoking a pack of cigarettes a day. Why not get the real thing?
3. Since I am feeling powerless, unprotected and abandoned, I will petition the king for royal protection.
4. Despite all the news about robberies, plunder, arson, rape, bombs and abductions, I will try my level best not to be admitted into a mental asylum.
5. I will desist from doing anything that will lower the morale of the security forces, I will therefore never set out on any domestic travel. I will only travel abroad.
Here are my hopes for 2005. Who cares if they don't come true, one can only hope:
1. Whoever for whatever reason can call a banda as long as the number of closed days total 52 in a year. That way I can have a long weekend every week.
2. Let's hope no pedestrian singer or songwriter has to lose his life after colliding with a speeding 1200 Harley Davidson Streethawk.
3. Let's hope Charles Shobraj finishes his book and publishes it while still in detention. This will boost Nepal's crime-tourism.
4. Let's hope just like my neighbourhood your neighbourhood also has its own morning bhajan on loudspeakers. That way you don't need an alarm clock.
On return from India, there is talk of neo-authoritarianism. Can't wait to see what a 21st century neo-authoritarianism feels like.