When the comrades first assumed power six months ago and started stacking afno manchhes in all govt corporations and ministries, we said so what's new, the kangresis and eh-maleys all did the same. But relatively speaking, as it were, the baddies have by now broken all previous records.We're not even talking about Awesome carrying out another kram bhanga by letting his grandson also take the salute from the podium at the PLA bash in Hatikhor last week. Comrade Yummy's sissy was sworn into the Civil Service Commission although this contravenes all kinds of constitutional criteria on eligibility. Instructions came directly from Baluwatar to make her #1 Commissioner.

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Then govt spokesman Comrade Dina tried to get his daughter to replace Govinda Raj Pokhrel after he was unceremoniously sacked as the head of the AEPC by the Scientific Minister at a time when the group was coming up with viable alternate energy plans. Even Financial Minister Rambabu, who trusted Pokhrel's qualifications, couldn't save his skin. It looks like everyone had their eyes on the moola that could be skimmed off hefty government subsidies for renewables. In the end, the position fell on the UML's plate under some package deal that involved the division of the spoils of government.

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When will this country finally get around to appointing ambassadors who don't have skeletons in their closets? We had an excellency in DC once who got caught shop-lifting and was only set free after claiming diplomatic impunity. We had a hijacker as ambassador to the Delhi Durbar, and 20 years later we are getting ready to send a guy from a party which New Delhi declared a terrorist outfit even before we got around to doing it. In the give-and-take, the baddies got ND while the Forum got DC, and it promptly appointed Sukhdev Sah without googling him first. It seems the ambassador-designate had to pay $40,000 in damages to his Nepali domestic for breach of contract while he was working for the IMF in the 1990s. There was a big hoo-ha about this in the Washington Post at the time. All we can say is that at least Sah has a green card, and not a red card.

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Looks like COAS Cutwall was offered both carrots and sticks by the baddies to quit. First, they dangled plenipotentiary to the Court of St James and the general refused. Then they tried to entice him to retire early in return for unspecified compensation. When that didn't work they started making threatening calls to him from unlisted numbers. Then the Chief publicly ridiculed the ex-royal baddie Sen Oli at a CA hearing and literally brought the house down.

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Comrade Storm Cloud then turned internal party screws on Bossman PKD, telling him in so many words: "Either you sack him or I'll resign." Awesome told Cloudy to cool it because he was under intense pressure from The South on this one. Last we heard, Overcast still hasn't given up trying to oust the Chief, and if can't be through ordnance then it will be through ordinance.

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If the UML was a nation state, all hell would have broken loose by now over the gross interference in its internal affairs by outsiders. As the Ass reported last week, in order to defeat his rivals in the internal power struggle, Comrade JN has enlisted the heavy guns in the form of the Maoist primordial minister who gave an hour-long speech in Butwal in which he blatantly blackguarded the Oli faction. Awesome took up so much time that when Oli's turn came, the audience was half-depleted. But Jhallubabu's alliance with Bum Dev and his baddie mentors has drawn Makunay, who carries the swing votes, closer to the straight-shooting Oli.

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There was a time when splits in the international communist movement would immediately result in the fragmentation of Nepal's own reds. The Sino-Soviet split was mirrored here in the 1960s, and then when the Gang of Four and the Dengists went at each other after Mao's death it happened to our Maoists too. But now it seems to be the other way around. The splits in the Maoists and the open rift between its fast-track and slo-mo factions have split RIM and COMPOSA, with one faction of international and South Asian commies backing Dahal and another toeing the Gajurel-Baidya line.

ass(at)nepalitimes.com