Looking at the final list of ambassadors it would be natural enough for people to ask: "We waited 16 months for this?"

It is the Maoists who have come out smelling like roses from the process: not that their candidates are scintillating in any way, but at least they're not Khaobaddies.

Except for Pampha Bhusal (old flame of the Cloudy One who was sidelined from the hierarchy and therefore had to be appeased by being kicked upstairs to Paris) the others are non-cadre. His Awesomeness snuck in his buddy from Chitwan Campus, Rishi Adhikari (PhD in agro-economy as ambassador to Malaysia) after his original candidate, loyal royal career dip Hira Bahadur Thapa, was shot down by the UML. Our media colleague Vijay Karna has been justly rewarded as the Maoist candidate for Nepal's first ambassador to Denmark, where the English prof is probably going to find out where the phrase 'red herring' comes from. The Maoists have been careful not to put forward names whose accreditations would be rejected by, say, the Australians.

And couldn't the NC find anyone better, fitter, than Shailaja Dijju for Delhi? What is Murari going to do in London, sell off the 12A Kensington Palace Gardens property? The list has obviously been drawn up as an eight party compromise, and from the looks of it the political appointees will largely be a waste of money.

The cabinet also finally got around to appointing new secretaries. Bravo. Nearly all are NBCs and all except the very capable Brinda Hada are men. So much for inclusivitiveness in the Renewable Nepal.

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According to the Ass' back-of-the-envelope calculation, the national exchequer saved $15.5 million by not having ambassadors for the past 16 months. In fact, one could say that the biggest accomplishment of loktantra so far has been that we've managed to save all this money. We can now put the moola to other use, like making a down payment for a new plane for the national airline.

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It's time to put 'Royal' back on the Nepal Airlines. Removing it has brought nothing but bad luck. Never, not even during the worst years of absolute monarchy, has the airline been so completely grounded. In the past month, there have been no international flights for three weeks. How can a SPAM government that can't even run a national airline be entrusted with more important things like restoring peace in the tarai, is what the Ass wants to know.

At present NAC has the largest glider fleet in the world because its jets have no engines. The Parliamentary Accounts Committee (PAC) has been chasing the paper trail on the Lauda and China Southwest scams to finger those responsible for destroying the airline. The Ass had a peek and the list includes all prominent names from the NC and UML. In fact, if the findings of PAC on NAC are right half of the central committee of both parties would have to go to jail.

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About the only thing the SPAM has taken a concrete decision on seems to be on nationalising the king's palaces. But why take over palaces that are already yours? Most of the palaces are World Heritage Sites, while others have always been crown property. And didn't king Mahendra sell off the new Naryanhiti Eyesore to the government even before construction was finished in 1975?

So Gyanendra thumbed his nose and took his family to Nagarjun, ostensibly nationalized the previous day. Punters are already busy betting on whether kingji will make an appearance at Krishnasthami (September 4) and Indra Jatra (September 25). Send all wagers to the Ass.

ass@nepalitimes.com