Nepali Times
KUNDA DIXIT
Under My Hat
All the hearsay that's fit to print

KUNDA DIXIT


That a relief it is to have our press freedom restored to its former glory so that we can print all the unverified gossip and defamatory innuendo again without fear or favour of all and sundry.

Thank heavens we don't have to glance nervously over our shoulders anymore when we shout pro-republican slogans, it's just that now we have to glance nervously over our shoulders even when we mountaineers have to pay royalty to the government to climb Mt Everest. How come they haven't change that word yet?

These are the civil liberties that we fought hard for and what a great accomplishment it is for press freedom in our new people's democracy that we are ready to lynch anyone who even slightly doesn't agree with us.

No longer do we have to worry about that late night phone call from the Information Ministry informing us that we are on this year's royal birthday honours' list. And thank heavens we don't have to think twice about saying what a visionary statesman and terrific freedom fighter Sujata Koirala is. We only have to think once.

Some of us with short memory spans will have forgotten what it was like in the bad old days two months ago when we in the media were straitjacketed and couldn't be as irresponsible as we are today. Now, to celebrate the restoration of total democracy and media freedom we bring you an example of the kind of fearless journalism that now appears in the pages of our papers and which are published without any fear of the consequences:

First man to urinate on Everest
LOBUJE-(Reuters) A Nepali climber entered the Guinness Book of World Records when he unzipped through three layers of gortex trousers and thermal underwear at 12.45 PM on 28 May to take a leak on the top of the world's highest mountain, the Ministry of Tourism said.

The Nepal Mountaineering Association has officially certified that the climber indeed relieved himself at the summit after being presented with a live satellite feed from the summit attesting to the authenticity of his audacious feat. His name is being withheld pending notification of immediate family members.

"We think this represents a new achievement in the annals of Himalayan climbing and it should spur other Nepalis to similar acts of courage and endurance," NMA said in a statement.

The extraordinary feat came one day after another Nepali climber also set a new world record and broke his own Nepali record by stripping naked on top of Everest and streaking down the southeast ridge. However, he nearly had to have his backside amputated due to frostbite-indicating just how difficult it must have been for Lama to do wee-wee at -50 Celsius and in the 140 km/h jetstream.

Speaking through satellite phone from the South Col, Nepal's latest hero sounded tired but happy as he explained what a relief it was to anoint the 8,848 m summit. "I couldn't bear it any longer and nearly gave up and peed at the Hillary Step," Lama said, "but I mustered all my strength and through sheer will power made it to the summit."

There was one harrowing moment at the summit that produced a lot of frantic fumbling when the zipper jammed and there was a slight hitch when the climber miscalculated the wind direction. But in the end it all turned out well as the whole nation rejoiced at two world records broken in a week by Nepalis on Mt Everest.



LATEST ISSUE
638
(11 JAN 2013 - 17 JAN 2013)


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