Now that all lorries in Kathmandu Valley are obediently following the new traffic regulation to cover their cargo with blue plastic sheets we can safely say with some degree of certainty, that there has been a vast improvement in the law and order situation in the country and take it as an indication that our democratic way of life is being gradually restored. Of course, there will always be the cynical and jaded communists (oops, columnists) who will see lorry drivers as sycophants and write scathing editorials bemoaning the lack of adults-only franchises in this country. But pay no attention to them. Because we know it for a fact that ever since the warbles of mobiles were heard again in Pokhara this week, people instinctively knew that the worst was over and that our ship of state is now sailing forth into a glorious sunset and headed right into the tip of an iceberg.

And for other reports that things are returning to normalcy the public need go no further than our psychosomatic state media which works under the professional principle that no noose is good noose and carried items like these this week:

Council of Ministers Expanded
The government has denied allegations in the anti-national private press that the expanded council of ministers only has sycophants and psychopaths. "That's a outright lie. The council of ministers also includes wilful defaulters, convicted hit-men, one guy who assaulted an ex-minister with a shoe and a sexual harasser," said the government spokesperson, "trust the press to only get it half-right."

A budget budget
The Minister of Belt-tightening announced the new annual budget this week which he said was a projection designed for a "budget economy". "Everything is budget these days: budget airlines, budget tourists so this is a budget budget," stated the minister, tightening his belt.

Bahuns even on Everest
KATHMANDU-After dominating the civil service for centuries and making inroads into the army, Bahuns are now going where no Bahun has gone before: to the top of Mt Everest.

The first ever Bahun ascent of the world's highest mountain was solemnised recently with full Vedic honours including the first-ever thread purification ceremony halfway to the gates of heaven. But the presence of the first priest on the peak did raise some eyebrows from indigenous locals who were heard to mutter: "They're everywhere, they leave nothing for us."

Meanwhile, the celebrations in the Newari community over the Everest ascent by the first Newar woman were muted when the Sherpa community proudly took her marriage on the summit to a Sherpa as an indication that their community had a monopoly on Everest. Overheard in a pub at Namche: "After all, she went up a Newarni and came down a Sherpini."

Unique film festival held
A one-of-a-kind film festival was held in Kathmandu this week in which Manisha Koirala was felicitated in exchange for her Dad agreeing to be anointed Minister of Scientology. The organisers wanted a festival like no other in the world, so no films were shown and no prizes were given.