Others may just lament the destruction wrought by the insurgency, but Rita Thapa sees it as an opportunity to transform society. "This war has presented us with a chance to rethink the condition of widows and change their social standing," she says. So Rita set up the group, Nagarik Aawaz, to help widows. The group's report this week found that widows are ill-treated and stigmatised, and often forced to leave their homes.

Fifteen years ago, Rita herself lost her husband and empathises with women she is reaching out to help. She focused all her energy on her work, which became an anasethesia for pain. Then, Rita converted to Buddhism and finally found spiritual solace.

It is her ability to take a personal tragedy and channel it into something bigger than herself that sets Rita Thapa apart. She will not allow herself to be labeled a victim. When she left a high-paying UN job to start Nagarik Aawaz two yeas ago, everyone thought she was crazy. She is also the founder of Tewa, which tried to raise money from Nepalis themselves to help rural women become more self-sufficient.

Rita is well aware of the 'founder syndrome' and how many organisations work under personality cults. She was determined to do things differently, and handed Tewa over to a new leadership.

If she hadn't started Nagarik Aawaz, Rita admits she may have launched a political party. What of the future? "Our situation is volatile again, this conflict can go anywhere," she says with a faraway look. "It can either transform society, or it can take us down to the bottom."