The Ass-like Broadcasting Corp (ABC) has just received the transcript of the conversation between Comrade Awesome and Jhusilo Koirala at the Redisson Hotel during the height of the Maoist strike last week:

PKD: The prime minister has to resign first.
SK: No, you need to lift the
strike first.
PKD: No, we don't.
SK: Yes, you do.
PKD: No, we don't.
SK: Yes, you do.
[45 minutes later]
PKD: No, we don't.
SK: Yes, you do.
[Next day]
PKD: No, we don't.
SK: Yes, you do.
[Two days later]
PKD: You two have runny noses.
SK: No, we don't.

And that's as close as PKD got to forging a political consensus.

Can't really blame anyone. Our political nuttas are well-protected by a barrage of no-nos, as the following demonstrate:

BRB: "No CA extension until Maoists in government."
PKD: "No Maoist in government unless me PM."
MKN: "No resignation until integration."
JNK: "No integration until YCL disbanded."
RCP: "No talk until property returned."


At his Khole Munch speech, Comrade Stupendous was buoyed by the massive applause he got after every threat he uttered against Kathmandu's middle class. They applauded when he warned journalists and scribes that he was noting down everything they wrote so appropriate action could be taken. They applauded when he threatened the business community for daring to stage a peace rally. And when PKD said: "They even chanted hang Prachanda" the crowd burst into deafening applause. Hmmm �

The Ass was a little confused when he heard Maoist Amik Sherchan shout 'Hang Prachanda' and 'Prachanda Chor Desh Chhod' in parliament. Turns out he was listing all the unmentionables the peace rallyists came up with. This has helped Comrade Awesome set a new record. He is now the only leader of Nepal to have profanities against him registered in parliament's records. The Baddies never lose.

And things appear to be getting worse for Comrade Super- califragilisticexpialidocious. A post-mortem of the strike suggests that his position within the party has been further weakened, to the advantage of nemesis Comrade Red Flag, who was against the strike. Standing Committee members are now publicly hinting that the party could agree to an alternative candidate, and the Chairman even had to eat crow at a hastily organised gathering of professionals and pundits, where he unconvincingly pleaded that his tirade against Kathmandu's sukilo-mukilo had, in fact, only referred to one per cent of them. Anticipating a backlash, perhaps, the party leadership has figured out that the best way to keep cadres busy is to instruct them to start collecting data on all those who took part in the peace rally, and start figuring out how to liquidate (sorry, intimidate) them.

With all the hoo-haa about whose balls are in whose coat, it's about time we announced the Coat of the Week. And it goes to Baddie spokesperson Diner Art Charmer for this choice dinner-party fender bender: "What kind of a democracy is this when protesters are trying to infringe on our fundamental right to enforce bandas?"

ass(at)nepalitimes.com

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Proximate breakthrough