The interview last week by Comrade Awesome on the British Bombastic Corporation (BBC) was a cowardly and craven attempt to garner cheap publicity and the nation can heave a sigh of relief that his unspeakable utterances did not defile our ears, thanks to some quick thinking by the vigilant folks at the Ministry of Lip Service and Tongue Lashing.

However, it is only now becoming clear what a close shave we all had. The dramatic behind-the-scenes sequence of events that led to us being within a hare's breath of having to listen to The Fierce One's propaganda can now finally be revealed because our intrepid investigative reporters went underground to dig up a blow-by-blow account of how the nefarious plan was foiled.

It was prompt and courageous intervention by alert security personnel that thwarted the interview from being aired just in the nick of time. All you members of the Special Forces Rapid Reaction Team who took part in the daring raid on Radio Sagarmatha on Sunday night in an audacious counter-terrorism commando operation please stand up. A round of applause, ladies and gentlemen, to these brave men who marched straight into the jaws of certain death with scant regard for life and/or limb in a perfectly coordinated attack against a heavily fortified radio station in Bakhundol defended by deadly and battle-hardened RJs.

At precisely 2100hrs the commandos synchronised their watches to GMT and stealthily scaled the outer perimeter of the target area and neutralised two guards from the Kalinchok Security Agency who were clad in pyjamas and heavily armed with a nightstick and a torch. By 2103hrs they had stormed the building in a three-pronged pincer movement. There was hand-to-hand combat in the downstairs corridor where the commandos successfully wrested lethal hardware like tape recorders and ballpoint pens from enemy radio announcers.

At that very moment, another crack unit equipped with night-vision goggles was able to breach the defences of the studio room where it successfully deactivated booby-traps shaped like microphones and some explosive radio active material in the satellite relay room. Four hard-core journalists were captured, Radio Sagarmatha was liberated and the nation rescued from certain doom.

Now that we have it all behind us, we can finally reveal the full text of that interview with Comrade Shock and Awe making it clear why it couldn't be allowed to go on air:

BBC: So, Mr Awesome, you are one cool dude. How does it feel to give your first radio interview?
Comrade Awesome: So very kind of you to give us the air time so that it will be the government that will be seen as an enemy of free press and not us. It's great to have them do the dirty work for us.

BBC: And how is the revolution going these days?
CA: We are taking big leaps forward in the long march to total victory through this phase of our strategic counteroffensive tunnel and bunker campaign against running-dog imperialists, their regional hegemonistic expansionist puppets and domestic feudal fascist mongrels by bravely closing community-managed schools, valiantly extorting teachers, courageously abducting school children and taking them to undisclosed locations and heroically blowing up buses. So I'd say things are pretty much going according to plan.

BBC: Awesome.
CA: As long as I have you on the line, Rabindraji, can I ask you a question?

BBC: Shoot.
CA: Since the national anthem has the word 'Prachanda' in it, don't you think the government should ban it as well?