Someone who has been keeping careful count has just drawn my attention to the fact that there have been 126 articles in this space in the past two years. I don't know how that happened, it wasn't intentional. But what it means is that this could actually be Article 127.

It is therefore incumbent upon yours sincerely to mark this milestone and not to waste this week's column beating around the burning bush indulging in the usual idle banter, frivolous chitchat, witty repartees, innuendos about the Ministry of Interior Decoration, and allegedly humorous asides about the posterior body parts of those currently holding
high office.

No, today we shall tackle deadly serious national issues so that we can roll up our loins and gird our sleeves to remove all obstacles that stand before us in the task of nation-building. This is so that we can doubly redouble our efforts to once more devote ourselves to a political process that suits the Nepali mud. So that there can once more be four-directional development towards Asian Standards and the declaring of Nepal a Zone of Peace. And so that, just like in the good old days, we can exhort Nepalis to move their hands and not their tongues under the active guidance of Radio Nepal and the Sports Council.

Many of us have fond memories of those years when there was iron discipline and obedience throughout the land, the Jayanagar-Janakpur train ran on time, all toothpaste was still strictly non-veg, the Japanese had not yet installed solar-powered red lights so traffic actually flowed on Putali Sadak, and we still had six-day weeks.

Some of you will find it hard to remember those days because as a matter of fact and for all intents and purposes your birth may not actually taken place yet, but corruption then was carefully centralised and was not as all-pervasive as it is today. In fact, so much gold passed through Nepal in transit from Hong Kong to Haryana then, that the time is still remembered nostalgically as The Golden Age of Nepal.

This is why, when the runway got damaged this week and Nepal was turned into a temporary no-fly zone, some of us rejoiced because we took it as a sign that there would soon be a regime change here as well. But, alas, no such luck. Saddam is still on the saddle, and here a jumbo cabinet still rules.

It is now too late for more talk, we need action. Your excellencies, dishonoured ministers, underground and semi-overground leaders, the insoluble speaker of the dissolved house, locked up tax officials, friends and foes, gentlemen and the lady at the back who is getting ready to aim a rotten tomato in the general direction of the podium.

It is my pleasure to offer you some more unsolicited advice during yet another interaction programme on "The Present Situation and How to Get Out of It". The way we get out of this is to follow emergency procedures: get up slowly without anyone noticing, walk calmly up the aisle towards the doors marked "Exit" of which there are two in the front and two at the back. Don't panic. And when you are outside, run like hell. Thank you for your attention, and see you all outside.