Before I forget, it is my duty as a responsible citizen to warn all minors that, as per a statutory requirement of the Bored of Censors, this week's column is rated 'R' and only readers who can prove with a photo ID that they are 18 or above are allowed to proceed (with caution) beyond this point. You two hiding there under the table, run along home to Mama now. Management would also like to warn clients who are having breakfast while reading this to stop right there, and remain in your bunkers until the all-clear is sounded. Management will not be responsible for any untoward incident in the vicinity of the duodenum.

OK, now that we are only adults here, let us get to the topic of the week. It is still a mystery why human beings find the activities of each others' digestive tracts so funny. Let's take a moment or two here to analyse why, for instance, it is that we find someone shooting the breeze while lifting a heavy object an event of such vast amusement that we can't help regurgitating the incident in a conspiratorial tone with all its gory details (even orally imitating the exact tenor and decibel level of the report) to a circle of close friends and relatives who then break into paroxysms of scatological laughter. Really. What is so funny?

After all, it is a perfectly natural thing to do. Like all organisms on this planet (we don't yet know whether organisms on other planets have alimentary canals that are in working order, but the search is on) human beings have to eat. What they eat has to be digested by a series of tubes known collectively as the gastrodrome, and eventually expelled through a trap door known by its Latin name, cloaca maxima. I fail to see the humour in that.

As I was saying, the bottom line here is: what happens to food after I masticate it is my business. And you should not be poking your noses into it. (Toilet etiquette Rule # 1: Never poke your nose unto others on matters that you don't want others to poke unto you.) Now that we have that cleared up, I can now present this photograph sent by a hard-pressed reader from Pokhara of the outside of a public loo at the lakefront. Many of you may not have the guts to look at the categories on offer, and I have taken the liberty of presenting below an expunged list:

. 10-Megaton Thermonuclear Explosion With Fallout: Rs 50
. Mugling Belly With Full Bonnet Wash: Rs 20
. Mugling Belly With Dry Cleaning Only: Rs 15
. Extra-long Mugling Belly: Rs 10
. Non-lethal Hardware: Rs 6
. Short-term Deposit: Rs 5
. Long, But Fruitless, Squat: Rs 1 (Reading material will be charged extra.)