Being a country that is now filing for bankruptcy protection, Nepal is always ready to continue providing the Americans with technical assistance and knowhow in corporate fraud and malfeasance at the upper echelons of government.

We have to hand it to the Americans, though: they are quick learners. How else could they have got the hang of our underhand modus operandi so quickly? It has only recently come to light that Enron's foray into Nepal five years ago was not about hydro-energy at all, but part of an undercover operation to infiltrate Nepali Inc and pick up a few useful tips on cooking the books.

The Texas energy giant then went on to put what it learnt in Kathmandu's corporate corridors to such good use, that it took them a very short period of time to become successfully bankrupt. But not before the CEO of Enron had dumped all his personal stock in the company at a premium and made millions. He was only following what his big boss, Dubya, had done earlier with two-thirds of his stock in Harken Energy Corp. You can be sure both CEOs learnt all the tricks here in our favourite landlocked Himalayan kingdom, where the primary national axiom is: "Take ze money und run."

The Americans may think that they are the world's greediest superpower, but there is still a trick or two they can learn about greed from us pros. Where else but here would you find such a concentration of world-acclaimed experts in corporate accounting fraud, fictitious asset sales, insider lending and stock price manipulation?

These are practices which we have over the centuries honed into fine art and architecture. We can today share this knowledge on the modus operandi about laissez-faire with savoir-faire while devouring the hors d'oeuvre tray when no one is looking. Large parts of the world are still squeamish about stealing cash and kind, but here we have all this expertise at our fingertips. Our secondary national axiom: "Just don't get caught."

Seeing that Enron had a leg up on them, hordes of American corporate giants began trooping to Kathmandu, among them great names like Adelphia, Xerox, Tyco, Arthur Andersen and Martha Stewart. The last to arrive a few months ago was WorldCom and all it took was a brief stint at the KSE for them to get the hang of selling loss-making subsidiaries at inflated prices by profit manipulation, buying off the competition with worthless stock options, claiming capital gains as profit and then rigging a bonanza sale of stock at astronomical prices. No wonder that our tertiary national axiom is: "Crooks R Us."

There are other tricks that we haven't yet taught corporate America, but let's not be too greedy, shall we? Nevertheless, since it is the fourth of July weekend, we will give our American friends a few nifty profit-making tips, gratis:

1. Legalise fuel adulteration. Mixing 50 percent kerosene in diesel is now more or less legal in Nepal, and we have discovered that it can bring down gas prices, increase mileage, and double the share prices of the national oil companies.

2. Get the Japanese to install traffic lights every 20 metres on the steepest sections of your uphills. This will ensure more fuel consumption, which will also contribute to global warming, which will lead to more air-conditioner sales, which will double the GNP.

3. Declare a federal holiday every time George W Bush travels abroad on a state visit. No need for citizens to work so hard, when making money is so easy.