Over the holiday period the reading public has been deprived of information of vital importance to their daily lives because some of us in the media business were just too lazy to bring out newspapers.

Serves the reading public right. Don't they have anything better to do? Anyway, as a result of this serious deprivation much that has happened in our country has fallen between the cracks and been lost forever. As a journal of record, therefore, it is our duty and responsibility to bring to public notice events which would otherwise have been consigned to the dustbin of history and geography. The fact that none of these items below are actually based on fact is besides the point, the point is that as journalists it is our solemn obligation to publish and be damned. The public in a democracy has the right to know, and we have the right to break every rule in the book.

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And now, the news in brief:

Country Closed Till Xmas
By Our Staff Reporter
KATHMANDU - The Ministry of Inertia and Lethargy has finally announced that, since Christmas is around the corner, the current holidays will be extended till December. The news was received with much jubilation at government offices which had reluctantly opened after the holidays. "Work was piled up so high, we didn't know where to start," said a visibly elated Phanindra Nepal at the Department of Rest and Recreation. "Now we can relax, and not worry about getting any work done for another two months."

"Grand Design," says Koirala
By Our Staff Humorist
BIRATNAGAR: Former prime minister and Nepali Congress (G) chairman, Girija Prasad Koirala has opined that the carpet industry is Nepal's past, present and future. Inspecting a carpet factory in Biratnagar Thursday, Koirala peered at the art work on a new rug being readied for export, and told the weaver: "This is a really grand design. Keep up the good work."

Nepal To Have Navy
By A Reporter Who Requests Anonymity
POKHARA: As a part of the national plan to augment the strength of the security forces, the government has decided to set up a navy, informed sources in the joint forces HQ said. "At the moment we are just naval-gazing, but very soon we should have a flotilla of high-speed submarines deployed on Ghoda Ghodi Tal, Begnas, Tin Kune and other water bodies throughout the kingdom," said Admiral Bhim Sen.