As we approach another silly season in Nepal, it is an opportune moment for all responsible citizens to be prepared to meet whatever eventuality fate has in store for us in the run-up to the much-awaited Five-Day Banda . One of the things we have to get ready for is a nationwide shortage of tyres, the weapon of choice against regression. At the rate that they are being consumed on the streets, our strategic stockpiles of radials and x-tra road grip premium treads are now running so low that there is a strong possibility the agitation could come to a grinding halt. National tyre reserves therefore need to be urgently replenished on a war-footing before the next and final phase of the agitation which is just departing from Gate Eight. Otherwise the vanguards of our anti-regression crusade may be forced to make even bigger arsenals of themselves than this scribe has so far made.
The next thing we have to do is gird up our loins for the possibility that the strike by adulterous gas station owners will soon be over because the government will refuse to allow them to keep on breaking the Sixth Commandment, which states, and I quote: "Thou shalt not covet the kerosene in thy neighbour's petrol." But seriously, what on earth are we going to do if, god forbid, our petrol stations start selling petrol? What if our cars actually pass their emission tests without having to resort to an under-the-table application of lubricants? And, finally, won't the increased concentration of oxygen in Kathmandu's air be harmful to our unaccustomed lungs?
Having witnessed the awesome display of firepower the other day at Tundikhel with that thundering flypast by the Royal Air Farce's entire fleet of seven strategic long-range heavy bombers, there is little doubt that we have, as a nation, put the fear of god on the foreign military attaches and their wives who were invited to the event to take part in the puncture-the-balloon contest. It is a glorious martial tradition in our country to spook resident envoys of potential aggressors on Shivaratri and Phulpati and allow them to be shocked and awed by our military might and the ability of our brave commandos to 'fire at will' in an orderly and disciplined manner.
It is also accepted practice in international diplomacy to respect the warm feelings that friendly countries harbour toward us, and reciprocate at the earliest possible opportunity. This is why it is heartening to note that our ambassador in London will soon be presenting a note verbale to the authorities there expressing our deep concern about creeping militarisation in the UK and to remind them that additional Gurkhas will only be provided if they are deployed for non-lethal purposes.
Our envoy in New Delhi has also met Indian officials to give them unsolicited advice about our belief that only if India adheres strictly to constitutional norms and rule of law can democracy be strengthened in the world's largest anarchy. And Washington has agreed to Nepal's demand to allow a team of Nepali human rights activists to monitor the US presidential elections in November, especially in polling districts in Florida to ensure that there is no ballot-tampering and chad-counting irregularities.
