Memo to Nepal Tourism Board: Don't tell anyone but I've found the missing tourists. They're in Bangkok, Chang Mai, Mae Hong San, Krabi, Pattaya, Phuket, Ko Samui, Angkor Wat, Vientiane, Langkawi and all over south Asia.

I'm writing this from an Internet caf? in Bangkok's Khan San Road, the supercharged Thamel-on-speed (oops, bad analogy, given the Thai government virulent anti-drugs attitude, something that hasn't hit tourism here at all). There are probably more tourists within 10km of me right now than in all of Nepal. I don't write that lightly. Look up the figures, Thailand gets tens of millions of visitors every year. Every year! And there are no soaring mountains, no mighty rivers full of clean water, no Durbar squares, no birthplaces of Lord Buddha. Okay, so Nepal has no beaches or tropical glades, but those two should complement each other.

Once you're tired of the beach, head for the hills. So what I'm wondering is, why aren't the NTB and other organisations charged with bringing the tourists back to our newly peaceful kingdom doing something about tempting the many, many travellers in the immediate vicinity-just a two-and-a-half-hour flight away. A daily flight!

Here are few suggestions. Hire people to walk up and down the Khao San road wearing sandwich boards offering deals to go to Nepal, the land of peace in a world of war. Every time President Bush growls at Saddam Hussein, it underscores our own peacefulness. No one, and I mean no one, among the travellers of Khao San Road has anytime for President Bush. Or Saddam Hussein for that matter. But they all love mountains and trekking. And peace.

Some of those films that have been made about Nepal over the years-Caravan, Chickenshit and Ash, The Honey Hunters of Nepal, all those BBC documentaries and trekking films, the list is long and lovely-show them to the lounging caf?-dwellers of this tourist ghetto. Take them to the five star hotels. And all other stars in between. There are so many people here with time on their hands who will be enthralled to see how beautiful Nepal is. When they're done, you buy them a beer or a coffee and then tell them that it's safe to come see all that beauty for themselves. And offer them a deal.

Cut visa fees. Get rid of visa fees. When Sri Lanka's airport and world class airline were decimated by a Tamil Tiger attack in 2001, did Colombo flinch? Did the tourist authorities of the island of Serendip start cribbing about "media reports" or "sensationalism" scaring away the travellers? No they did not. They offered free visas on arrival to most rich country nationalities and made available stunning flight and accommodation deals to Asian visitors. And they promoted their island. They spent money to do so, they played in the big leagues, not the trade shows but the media.

As for the Maoist insurgency, has anyone really informed all these travellers, these potential contributors to the economy of Nepal, that the rebels have rarely done anything nasty to foreign tourists? And even then, only if you count taking money with a little implied menace. My own experience is that many of those who've made "donations" to the Maoists were quite thrilled by what had happened-it was a tale to tell when they got home, rather than a frightening experience that drove them away forever. I'm not defending the collection of money from trekkers and mountaineers, it should cease once and for all. But it's not what kept tourists from coming to Nepal.

I hearby volunteer to spend the next week wandering through the bars frequented by foreigners in Bangkok, telling everyone I meet, young and old, rich and backpacker, that Nepal is safe, wonderful and welcoming. This I do from the goodness of my heart. I'll send the NTB the bar bill and believe me, given what's going on to promote the country at the moment, it'll be money well spent.