BP Koirala gets a visit in solitary confinement at Sundarijal Jail. His wife Sushila is permitted to see him for half-an-hour. At first BP thinks the government is trying to score propaganda points by allowing her visit, but he decides to see her. They talk about family matters, and about BP's desire for an open trial.

Thursday, 14 April 1977
Sundarijal

It is now becoming clear why the other day Ass Anchaladhish came to inquire whom from my family members I wanted to consult in connection with the engagement of lawyers for my case. Today's paper, ie dated yesterday (Gorkhapatra and Rising Nepal) have published a condemnary statement contradicting the news that had appeared apparently in some important Indian newspapers (the news concerned the reported judgement of capital punishment that has been given to me after a closed door and secret trial) I have been told the case is in court, ie the trial is on, but I have not been given any formal notice nor have been produced before any court. The news published in the Indian press may well be correct in that the judgement has already been given and it would be communicated to me at any time. The whole govt is a big fraud-my trial and the case being pending in a court of law is a big lie. If they asked Sushila to meet me it will be really with a view of gaining a propaganda score against the Indian press. How can a govt run wholly on the basis of lies and fraud, and that is why I feel that the govt is most unreliable and can collapse at the least prod-otherwise if the govt were stable and sure of itself it wouldn't resort to chicanery and fraudulence. The purpose of keeping me in such isolation and darkness is clear-it will facilitate them to make any kind of propaganda that they choose as far as I am concerned-any lies, any fraud. GM is definitely wrong to think that keeping us so isolated is indicative of the king's indecision on the question of compromise or even talk with us-the indecision being that he is being pulled in opposite directions by the softliners and hardliners among his powerful advisers. He wants to keep us in prison and if he succeeded he would even like us to die in prison. The propaganda in the foreign press is coming in his way-that is why this big fraud is being perpetrated. There is no other explanation.

The king has made a pedestrian statement on the occasion of New Years' Day. He has tried to catalogue the achievements-and what a pitious catalogue it is-and mind you the achievements of 5 years are listed in the catalogue. He has beaten his own drum about how he has rallied the international status of the country by heading the delegation of the non-aligned conference in Colombo. It is a very superficial statement, and I was very unhappy going through it, all the time being conscious that the king, ie the head of the state and of the govt, was making that kind of statement. He was ill-advised to enumerate his achievements. It is most puerile, very unfortunate.

Did a lot of laundry and had a good bath-I had performed the similar task 12 days ago. I have been really very weak + didn't have strength to wash clothes which piled up awfully soiled + and since I feel feverish too I didn't feel like bathing. I of course massaged my body, not formally massaged, only lightly rubbed mustard oil on my body and wiped it off with a rough towel. Thrice in course of the last 12 days-therefore I am feeling awfully dirty. All this took me the whole morning and during the day I feel too tired to do any work-hence no reading and writing today. In the evening it becomes suddenly cold, there was some rain and the wind was very strong-almost stormy weather. The construction of the house, the structure, the tin roof, and the high walls surrounding it making the compound some kind of a basin-all combined to produce a peculiar-eerie-humming and at times whining sound when there is a strong wind. The structure starts cracking like a ship in a storm sea, ready to fly apart at every buffet of the wind. My room leaks in a few places and at the attic, disturbed birds flutter and the mice scamper, dropping pieces of stone masonry, bricks and even droppings into my room through the chinks in the ceiling. I am amazed at my unperturbility because I used to be extremely afraid of ghosts and such unnatural manifestations.If I were to believe in spiritual and unnatural ghostly manifestations I would have readily believed that this house is infested with ghosts-all kinds of sounds and noises, voices like those of human beings, groans, heavy treading on the floor, whispers, gasps, sound of somebody bathing in the bathroom with full tap on, pouring of water, laundering, beating of washing clothes with wooden sticks, taps on the door, sounds as if some heavy things have fallen on the floor. You seem to hear the voice of your own and sometimes you own name being called distinctly.

Friday, 15 April 1977
Sundarijal

Today's Gorkhapatra has an editorial criticising the statement of JP. JP's statement I haven't seen. I didn't get the Rising Nepal today, which too must have written a similar editorial on JP's statement. It appears JP has give a critical statement on the present system which he has perhaps compared with a colonial type of system-and perhaps made some mention of the monarchy and its reactionary role. It is all gratifying in the sense that the design of the king of Nepal to kill us slowly in prison under a veil of secrecy and darkness is not succeeding-he can kill us, there is no doubt about that, but now it will have to be done with the knowledge of the world. This is a part of the victory gained. I had fervently hoped that a dialogue with the king would start after a few months of our arrival, and that the process of democratization on which alone lasting unity and national cohesion can be achieved, would commence. Instead of that, the king is behaving as if by our return the restraint that our stay in India had over him as been removed-and that he is indeed.

It is very unimaginative of him-not like his father who had a better sense of politics + and a shrewd assessment of the realities of a situation. He would have grasped the opportunity which our return to Nepal has provided to the king with both hands.

The govt is in a quandary about us. If they bring us before a court, they don't know what defence we would like or what character the case would assume in the course of the trial, and moreover the trial has to be a public trial, a secret trial will carry no conviction anywhere. And if it is an open trial, our case will be a cause celebre and will do tremendous propaganda for our cause. If they decide not to bring us before a court of trial they will be the laughing stock of the world, having already announced to the world that we are on trial and that legal processes have started. I am very happy with this development-the total discomfiture of the little men in this dictatorship. I know now that the prospect of a compromise between the king and ourselves has receded and consequently I am in for very hard times in prison. But that is a personal concern.but so far as our cause of democracy is concerned, our suffering will have tremendous and everlasting impact. This is gratifying. The game of the king to kill us in silence has not succeeded. This is satisfying.

Yesterday there was an added show of military force in this camp. The rifles were pointed towards the building horizontally from the four guard towers-and I could see from my room that there was feverish activity going on in the tower. The soldiers and the COs instructing them were in full battle dress. They were guarding us as individuals ie now they have employed an army for that purpose, then thinking that it was not enough they have to prop up a demonstration of that capacity to kill me, if need be or if such orders were received, at the drop of a hat. Maybe such a demonstration is instead to cow me down and demoralise me. If it is so, what foolish idiots! And if it was really for training purposes, they should have realised that to point a rifle at a prisoner in his cell is tantamount to inflicting mental torture of the most brutal type.

In the afternoon, at about 4:30 the Ass Anchaladhish came and said that he had brought Sushila with him in the car for an interview with me. Indeed she did come. My 1st impulse was to see her because the govt should then be able to say that they have permitted my wife to see me. [cont. 10.4.77] and the publicity given to my detention in isolation in the foreign press in some measure could be refuted. The propaganda in the Indian press about my trial in secret and the judgement given to me could also be met. That is why I was in the beginning reluctant to see her. Then I thought that perhaps I may be able to assess the situation outside by her, or at least know if she is all right, so ultimately I decided to see her. In such a situation I became too excited and didn't do what I had been planning for so many days to do-then after she was gone I regretted deeply the loss of this opportunity. She appeared to be in good health. Chetana and Manisha, Sriharsha, Ruchira and.couples are all here. Sushila received the message from Rosa at Varanasi to proceed to Kathmandu. Ass Anchaladhish had gone there to convey this message to her. She arrived only this morning and hence had no time to meet any of our friends here. She told me that Shailaja is normally treated and she receives regular visitors. I could gather that Kishunji is also in prison. She only said [in Nepali] "Kishunji harulai ta uta bhetna diye ko chha kuni kina diye ko ho". I am greatly relieved on the score of Shailaja and I take this information as a positive point of the interview. She told me that Prakash is assisting Girija, Nanu is suffering from her old trouble for which she has gone to Delhi to consult a specialist. Manish was seriously ill with lung complications consequent upon an attack of measles. GP and Nona are all right, Sriharsha is trying to get a job in.travel agency and at the same time trying for a scholarship for research abroad. Ruchira is with him for some many months in Kathmandu and is likely to return to B'bay with her parents. She has to take her MA exams this spring. I don't think she can manage it. [Mama?] is a little disheartened that he was wasting his time with BSc if he was to join some medical college and.to support Sushila that for his admission to medical college in India, Rajnarayan who is now health minister in Delhi, should be approached. I, however, think that Dandawate should be contacted for scholarship for Sriharsha. Chetana has spoiled one paper, she will return to B'bay in June when her school reopens. All others are all right. Kalpana's one eye is irrepairably damage. Perhaps the second eye can be saved. JP and others, and all my friends, have sent affection and regards to me. JP is in a hospital in B'bay but on the whole the family affairs are what they need to be. A burden is lifted from my mind. From her demeanour I could gather that everything is all right outside even politically. Now about the specific purpose for which she has been called to interview me-consultation in connection with the appointment of lawyers to defend my case. I told her that I have demanded an open trial, and that I intend to debunk the whole case and expose the govt for which I need the assistance of competent foreign lawyers also because the Nepali lawyers can be brow beaten. For Nepali lawyers, these names.Ganesh Raj, Bhandari, Kusum. I also told Sushila that I have been demanding 4 things from the govt, ie more interviews, correspondence, books and newspapers. Ass Anchaladhish said that the matter has reached the palace from where final orders will emanate. He further said that he himself has done it. Sushila gave me the impression of confidence.she seemed to "rise to the occasion" is the expression. She turned to the Ass Anchaladhish to say, "Why, the trial should be an open trial otherwise it will not be considered a fair trial.or your demands are very legitimate and hoped they would be met, Anchaladhishji, books are most important for our intellectual, particularly when he is kept in isolation.visits for children over here, they would like to meet their father."

I repeatedly told her that the way I am living, kept in cynical disregard of Human Rights, has a powerful champion these days in the President of the USA. I don't think she got the hint. She is a very clever girl in some ways. [see 27.3]

[contd from 15.4] I just finished my afternoon tea. I had prepared tea very elaborately and served it to myself on a small tray with a plate of biscuits and cheese, and felt both satisfied and ludicrous. Said to myself that I needed just one person-an intimate one-to share this tea with me-that I could be a good housekeeper and place my partner in the housekeeping-when suddenly I heard knocking at the door. I had closed my bedroom door and was having tea in the bedroom itself. I thought I misheard, because such sounds are heard here off and on. But the next time the knocking was persistent-then I called come in and in comes the Major of the camp to say that the Ass Anchaladhish had come to see me. I said-please ask him to come. He was just outside the door. He came in and said that Sushilaji had come to see me. With great difficulty I maintained my usual demeanour and kept quiet for a few seconds and then I said-where are we [to] meet? He said-outside on the veranda. I said-please bring her in I am coming. He goes out to fetch Sushila and I comb my hair and wrap myself with a khasto and come out of the room. Three chairs had been placed on the veranda and Anchaladhish and Major had gone out to bring Sushila. When she appeared at the fore end of the veranda I walked up to her, held her hand, patted her cheeks and asked her to sit down. "How are you Sushila?" When our interview was over, I think it last a little over half and hour-when she got up to go I again held her in an embrace, patted her cheeks and said to take good care of your health and tell everybody that I remember them. At the steps of the veranda she stopped, asked if I had planted those flowing creepers. I said-no, they were already there when we arrived. Then I pointed her a plant with big red flowers growing near the compound wall and asked her to pluck them and take them with her. She said, "I like that flower in the creeper-which are fragrant. Can I pluck some of them?" This she said addressing the Camp Commander, and of course he said it is a wild growth you can take as many of them as you choose. She plucked [them] and this time, lifting her sad eyes to me, said goodbye. The small gates opened for them and closed. From a distance Nona was standing, and during the short moment when the gates opened and closed, we both saw each other and waved. From the chink between the gate and the wall I saw Sushila join her and after sometime they left in a white car-Anchaladhish car most probably.

I am happy. I thank all the gods. I remember mother. I am.and relaxed.