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Amidst a health scare while in solitary confinement, BP Koirala is nervous with excitement that his wife, Sushila, will be allowed a jail visit. But when it doesn't happen, he oscillates between hope and frustration. The papers say that members of the Rastriya Panchayat have been denouncing Indian MPs who have called for his release. BP wonders whether it wouldn't be better to widen the international pressure for his release, with perhaps the intervention of US President Jimmy Carter, especially because of his concern for human rights. He writes: "Human rights are not just a question of concern to our country-it is the concern of all the members of the UN."

Tuesday, 12 April 1977

[Notes on margin]
Pneumo-coccus=what is 2?
Dr Bhattarai BP 150/90
Started taking Rosicillin

I was expecting Sushila today, because yesterday the Ass Anchaladish had given me the impression that the interview would take place soon to speed up the legal proceedings also. I was in great excitement and tension the whole day. In the afternoon I read today's Gorkhapatra and R Nepal both of which carry the statement by the National Panchayat members who have condemned the statement of some members of the Indian parliament demanding my release. Thereafter, I start suspecting that since the Nepal govt is trying to create an impression that legal proceedings have started against us, yesterday's visit of Ass Anchl was in furtherance of that objective. A show of motion. I don't know what was the statement from the Indian side in our support, but from the condemnatory statement from the panchayat side I could gather that there is a demand in certain political circles, in India at least, for my release. It would be more appropriate if our supporters in other countries emphasised the barbarous character of my detention-in solitary confinement-and demand an open and fair trial. The question of human rights, which has been so forcefully put on the agenda of human freedom and dignity by US President Carter should be taken up in our case. That would carry more weight and wouldn't invite the change-specious, I agree-of interference in the internal affairs of a country. Human rights are not just a question of concern to our country-it is the concern of all the members of the UN.

Today in the afternoon, Dr Bhattarai came without notice with a mobile set of x-ray apparatus. Two x-ray photos of my chest were taken. The culture finding of my sputum was positive this time-pneumo cocci-for which Dr Bhattarai has prescribed an antibiotic. What is this pneumo cocci? Something connected with a lung disease? I have been progressively feeling run down and getting emaciated day by day. Dr Bhattarai has asked me to send my 1st urine tomorrow morning. Missing of pulse beats ESB continues. Today also there was some blood in the sputum, but in diminished quantity. My blood pressure is unusually high and unusual for me who has been used to low blood pressure. I am very tired today. I did not do my usual routine work even. Partly it was due to my tension expecting Sushila any time of the day.

Wednesday, 13 April

Today is new year's day according to the Nepali calendar. The whole day I remained in fervid excitement hoping that I could interview Sushila and alternated with excitement and depression, between hope and frustration thinking of a prospective interview with Sushila. As Ass Anchaldish had given me the hint that she was already in Kathmandu. Perhaps Sriharsha is also here, as may be Nona with her children. One ear was permanently set towards the gates and the roads for any unusual sound or bustle of activity. Many times when the horn sounded I rushed to the window from which moving vehicles are visible on a very small stretch of the road-although today being a holiday there wasn't much movement. This tension is killing me, and such incessant excitement makes me exhausted, and on top of that I get frustrated.

I did some writing today-a rambling history of the Nepali Congress but it kept me busy most of the morning and part of the day. I go on writing whatever occurs to my mind without caring for the language and bothering to discriminate what to keep in or what to leave out, ie leave it.wider dissemination-so everything is haphazardly piled up together. The primary purpose of this exercise is to keep my mind busy, but at the same time to do some useful work which can be set in proper order later on when the primary need of the occupation of the mind is not so pressing.

I have started taking an anti-biotic for pneumo cocci whatever it is-since this morning-6 hourly for 6 days. I am most reluctant to use anti-biotic but I thought that in view of the serious nature of the infection I should take it. I took anti-biotics more than 4 months ago. I think 3 times a year is not an excessive intake of this kind of drug. I had suggested some other anti-biotic but Dr Bhattarai thought that ampicillin to be the specific for this kind of trouble. I had suggested either Erythromycin, or minycillin, or Mantidex, but he sent Rosicillin. Anyway, I have to depend upon Dr Bhattarai's judgement now more than anybody else because he is the only man made available to me. Dr Bhattarai is very fond of new medical gadgets because at the slightest pretext he puts the patient-at least he had done so with me-on all kinds of pathological and other examinations. He is handicapped in the discharge of his medical function because all the exams have to be done here in the prison itself. He can't take me to the hospital. Moreover, it appears no doctor from a civilian hospital is allowed, hence I am not getting an eye specialist to examine my eyes, because obviously the military hospital has no eye dept or an eye specialist. Otherwise Dr Bhattarai would have sent him here. I think Dr Bhattarai is director of the military hospital with the rank of colonel-boss of the hospital dept in the army. Dr Basnet is perhaps his assistant. Basnet is a more congenial person but he believes in overmedication.

(11 JAN 2013 - 17 JAN 2013)