The president's deadline looms as the Ass goes to press, and there are still no takers. There is no new gubberment agreement because the parties can't decide who should preside over a national erection. The crux of the biscuit, as Frank Zappa used to say, is that they are all cancelling each other out. PKD cancels out BRB, SBD cancels out RCP, BKG cancels out MT & UY, and Brave Sun is being blocked by Brave Cloud. And PuKaDa is confusing everyone by sending mixed signals: telling the Madhesis they must lead an electoral government, while simultaneously egging on Messrs Kaji Naran, Jhusil, Sher, Cloudy, and Gutch.

***

The only reason this is not already more complicated is because the eh-Maleys are not in the running. Thank Gods for that, otherwise we'd have the Red Bahuns of the Unfed Marxist-Leninists also kicking each other in the gonads. At this rate, the power struggle is going to go on till eternity unless we come up with innovative new ideas to short-circuit the whole dam thing by employing one or more of the following methods to choose a new prime minister:

1. Agree on a rotational prime ministership among 365 aspirants from all 36 or so parties so that everyone gets a shot at Balu Water at least once in a lifetime.
2. Declare a National Lottery and whoever wins, becomes prime minister for as long he, she, or it wants. Asses are encouraged to apply.
3. Ask the two main rivals in the four parties to pick straws until everyone is eliminated, then appoint a Young Turk.
4. Organise a roundtable of all 48 top leaders of the top parties and have them play Russian roulette. The last man left sitting is automatically prime minister since everyone else is dead.
5. Re-enact the Lig Lig Marathon, and whoever can bribe the organiser to win can be declared the prime minister.
6. Have an Elocution Contest to narrow the field because both Sher and Jhus would be disqualified.
7. Televise live a Kaun Banega Corrode Pati competition, and find who has the potential to get rich quickest.

Amreshbabu apparently blew a gasket when he found out that certain journos were tweeting about him accompanying BRB to meet RBY, and that the prez scolded the pee-em for having a spook for a sidekick. The Ass has it on good authoritarians that it did not happen that way. But Amrace was prowling around Shitall Niwas before and after the prime minister was there, which is in itself intriguing. What everyone forgets is that the prez was following his agreement with Chairman Supercalifragilistic under which he would sign the budget ordinance in return for a time frame for a new consensual grovelment with or without BRB stepping down. But BRB pulled the rug from under PKD's gameplan by his "I-me-my any sacrifice" speech, and the prez had to rebut with his ultimate ultimatum. So, to cut a long story short, this is a fight to the finish between two baddest Baddies, and all we can hope is that the better Baddie wins.

***

The gossip around the neighbourhood water-hole these days is all about why the Mao-Mad Coalition is reluctant to step down. One theory is that there are so many irons in the fire, juicy aircraft contracts to multifuel powerplant purchases, and projects to reconstruct the deconstruction wrought by demolition contractors in Kathmandu, that the coalition needs slightly more time to finalise kickbacks and payoffs before they step down. For example, there is a battle royal brewing between PKD and BRB over the appointment of the new chief of the NTA. Being Nepal's Telecom Czar, Awesome is not going to let go of that one that easily.

***

As rumours swirl about further sinful antics of the ex-clown plince in Pattaya recently, it looks like even his royal antecedents is not going to protect him from Thai justice this time. Daddy-G has more or less excommunicated his son much in the same way that Great Leader Comrade Lotus Flower has defrocked Dear Leader Comrade Luminous for his dangerous liaisons. CP Porous used to be in Singapore, which is a fine city, until his fines made it unaffordable. Interestingly, that is where Daddy-ji is headed next week.

***

Jhusil Da is suddenly looking 10 years younger after Awesome convinced him he should shoot for PMship. The Congman is shoring up all his pluck and energy to show that he has what it takes to do the Paji Job. Brave Lion is glad Lord Ram is out of the way, but still secretly fancies himself back at the Sand Castle.

***

Our winning sound bite of the week comes from Gutch the Homely Minister: "I have a zero tolerance policy towards corruption."