There is now only one way to stop the wanton slaughter of Nepal's forests. The NC should once and for all give up its election symbol. Ever since the Kangresis adopted the tree as their registered trade mark, extremists of the loyal left and the royal right have been chopping down every tree they see. The lefties and the righties spend most of their waking hours thinking about which tree to axe next. During the Panchayat referendum, the Mandalays turned most of the Tarai into desert. And when the Commies came to power, they mowed down what was left. Once they had stripped the countryside bare, the Raja Baddies under the able guidance of ex-Majesty Gyancha wanted to remove the last remnants of the Rana regime and sawed off all the stately gum trees along Balu Water and Pool Choke, citing security reasons. Not ones to allow themselves to be outdone, the Mao Baddies once they got to power are now on a logging spree as part of their Great Leap Forward To Widen Kathmandu's Roads. The motto seems to be: "Don't Let a Single Tree Stand".

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As one little big wag put it recently, the reason Prime Minister Ram Babu came to office last year and immediately started riding in a Mustang four-wheel drive vehicle was because his plan had always been to use bulldozers to turn Kathmandu's roads impassable to all, but the most sturdy all-terrain SUVs. Just as well that BRB is going to remain PM till after Tihar because otherwise our demolished roads will never be rebuilt. And comes another proof that Premier Laldhoj is a Man of the People. Now he's got Swine Flu just like the rest of us.

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What goes around comes around seems to be the lesson that the Baddies are learning from the ongoing Battle of the Factions not just between the Hyphen and Bracket Baddies, but even within the Bracket Comrades between the BRB and PKD flunkies who are coming to blows over control over their fratricidal unions. For instance, since the Awesome loyalists get most of the cuts from the casinos, the Ram Babu loyalists have started enforcing the rule about Nepalis not being allowed to gamble. Cronies of Lotus Flower who profited from his sweetheart deals for telecom licences have been lying low abroad because Baidya Ba's Boys (B&B&B) also want their pound of flesh.

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Whenever PKD goes off on a retreat, we know he's up to some mischief.Usually he used to go to Sukute Beach on the Bhote Kosi which was run by friendlies, but that hotel has recently been closed by local Kiran Kaka Kadre (KKK). That is why the Great Helmsman decided to go and kill two birds and get stoned in Pokhara to assure agitators supporting the new airport that everything is on track, and to also chill out at Begnas Resort. The irony seems to have been lost on the Dear Leader that this was the resort that was ransacked and burnt to the ground by his sidekicks during the war. And there he was knocking back Chivas Regal King of Kings on the rocks by the lake. Wonder what the horses, sheep, mules, and the beasts of Kaski who were looking through the window at Comrade Napoleon taking on the ways of Farmer Jones. Which is why one can understand Deuba Dai's outburst the other evening when he told confidantes: "He drinks Chivas, and he calls me feudal?"

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And here's more on the Pokhara airport debacle. The project is stuck because even the Chinese Exim Bank thought that the Nepali comrades raking in $100 million on a single project was too audaciously corrupt. So the Financial Ministry had to send a delegation led by none other than Comrade Raj Kaji, yes the same one who publicly admitted to taking a Rs 5 million bribe 'for the party' from airport contractors. Some countries go to pot because of crony capitalism, here the rot has set in because of crony communism.

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You can tell that the holiday spirit is upon us when you hear that both the opposition and the government cancelled street agitations because it was way too difficult to rent a crowd when people have already started going home for holidays. But the Eh-maleys did manage to let off a blitzkrieg last weekend before allowing supporters to slip off into holiday coma. This year, all over Nepal, people are not chanting "Dasain Ayo, Dasain Ayo", but "DV Ayo, DV Ayo".

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Yeah, and how come EU envoys need a clearance from Qomrade Nayaran Qazi when the ambassadors of China and India can slip in and out of Shitall Nibas at all times of day or night?