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***
Kiran Kaka divorced Chubby Lal, but he is already flirting with Comrade Matrikulum. However, Kathmandu's op-ed communists and anal-ists are betting their bottom paisa the merger is not going to be easy because they don't think Mohan "Lin Piao" Baidya will want to be locked up inside the toilet every time there is a small comradely disagreement with The Matrix.
***
Chairman Awful's White Paper to the Extended Central Committee had a closed door Mea Culpa Session in which PKD listed his party's 12 Mistakes. He must have been tempted to make the #1 Mistake in the 12 Mistakes the 12-point Dilli Agreement. But he didn't for understandable reasons. PKD is now in a race to be even more South-facing than BRB. Anyway, lot of mistakes have come back to haunt the Big Baddies and the latest is the fact that they cooked the books to cheat their own 19,000-or-so fighters in the camps for years. The figure runs into corrodes (if not arabs) and the cash all went to line the pockets of You-Know-Who. Anyway, the issue is so sensitive that it actually halted proceedings of the Baddie Bash at the Exhibitionist Grounds on Wednesday. There are only two ways the Great Manipulator can deal with this: pay off the ringleaders, or find a scapegoat Lal Dusta cantonment commander from the Hyphen Commies. You will know by the time you read this which one it is.
***
Jay Pee has just shown us that he can strike back from almost anywhere. You have to give it to the guy for chairing his Central Committee meeting from behind bars and dumping his deputy Rajkishor. When the Ass tried to get a reaction, the expelled Minister for Disinformation lived up to his reputation and told us not to believe such lies. Most politicians wait till they are released from detention before they write their jail memoirs, and the latest is Chiranjibi Waggle. But JP has written while still inside. What is this, a writer's retreat?
***
You can criticise Prime Minister Bhattarai for being dour and uninspiring, but he sure had our welfare at heart when he enforced the seatbelt law, the anti-drink-and-drive drive, and ordered the demolition of half the city so pedestrians are not mowed down.
This is a man who between 1996-2006 could have killed you, now he doesn't want you to die. The latest edict from Balu Water to the Police is to go after smokers puffing in public. Not just in restaurants and cinemas, but you can't even light a fag while walking across Bugmati Bridge to ward off the bouquet of odours emanating from below.
Hardest hit are our bored netas, whose only pleasure in life was to blow rings in the air between burps. Sher Budder, who likes to take a drag, has stopped coming down from Chapali Heights unless Jhusil Dai calls him, which is not very often.
***
The most demoralised parties these days are the Kangresis and the Eh-maleys, and they seem to have resigned themselves to let Baburam Rajya carry on till Dasain and beyond. Since elections are not going to happen in November, Jhusil believes there is no particular hurry to stake a claim to prime ministership.
The two parties are in such a state of stupor that they haven't noticed Comrade Ferocious beavering away beneath them to lure away their Janajati netas. But all his behind-the-scenes machinations seems to have backfired on PKD.
He just wanted the Janajatis to defect to his party, not to set up their own. PKD had even promised them positions vacated by Baidya's Boys, but now he is worried the new Janajati Party will undermine the ethnic politics he has so carefully cultivated as his powerbase.
