Corrodes, arabs and kharabs- Nepali Times

The current political system in the Plutocratic Federal Demographic Republic of Nepal can be best described as 'Crony Communism', where ex-revolutionaries have turned into oligarchs. But murderers becoming kleptocrats is good, no? The Baddie-Deshi Coalition pocketing budgetary allocations for party and personal needs is not news anymore because it is so commonplace. Which is why the NC and UML are itching to get into govt, so they can also plunder ahead of elections. Money can't buy you love, but it sure can buy you an election (at least in Nepal).

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Speaking of moolah, after Awesome got one of his cornies to buy off a chunk of shares in a national media company for 42 corrodes, comes news that another oligarch is planning to put an arab or two into yet another media empire. At the rate these guys are going, the Mau Mau are not just going to be media tycoons, they'll also be media typhoons. "Dollar appreciation" has new meaning in Nepal as the Baddies emulate the royalty they overthrew to stash their loot abroad. And with the NPR in freefall, looks like their ill-gotten arabs will soon become kharabs.

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Two people dominated the news this week: Prachanda Pratapi and Prachanda Putra. By their strident over-reaction to KingG's tv interview, the kangresis, eh-maleys and baddies all showed their deep sense of insecurity. And by speaking out now, Kingji actually ended up cementing fraying ties between the fractious parties: if there is one thing that unites them it is their collective aversion to His Erstwhile Majesty. The meanest tirade came from PM BRB, who threatened to terminate the state's facilities to the ex-king. First Lady Yummy spoke sense, tho. She said we deserve to have the monarchy back. Hear hear.

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PKD Jr has long been the black sheep of the Awesome Family. But here in Nepal we are used to clown princes growing up into seriously spoilt brats. But Prakash broke the cardinal rule of Maoism: "Thou shalt not covet thy comrade's wife." It was OK that the twice-married ran off with a third girl-friend, so what if Bina is already married and with a child, what got PKD's goat was that Bina's husband is a Kiran Kaka loyalist. When hubby boy found out The Dear Leader was knoodling his wife in the vicinity of the Western Cwm, he blew a gasket and smacked Prakash in his nose, which is why you must have noticed The Dear Leader's proboscis is slightly crooked. Fruit of Prachanda's Loins is now absconding, and there have been several Prakash sightings which (like sightings of Elvis) have all been hoaxes. Rumours are that Prakash has emptied Daddy's local bank accounts and headed south of the border. The party suspended the couple for being "cultural deviants", and thankfully stopped short of accusing them of being "sexual deviants".

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What really got PKD's goat was that the week BRB's dotter graduated magna cum laude from TU, his son eloped. The PKD vs BRB spat just keeps getting worse. PKD sees the prez in the AM, and BRB goes to see the prez in the PM. BRB calls an all-party meet to talk budget, and no one shows up. PKD calls an all-party meet, everyone comes, and they all endorse the one-third budget. Just awesome.

1. Dilip Rajbhandari
I like the title: Corrodes, Arabs and Kharabs which imply true secondary meanings for the Baddies....

Posted on: 13 JULY 2012 | 12:01 PM NST

2. DG
Why are our dear' liders ' so much scared by a simple statement from
His Madesty?

Posted on: 13 JULY 2012 | 10:03 PM NST

3. Fan of Ass
Ass, you are genius for phrases like "media typhoon", "knoodling in the Western Cwm", "thous shalt not covet thy neighbor's wife", "ill-gotten arabs and corrodes". Only the Ass could of thought of it!

Posted on: 14 JULY 2012 | 9:46 PM NST

4. Jay Gurung
Hey Ass - is there a middle class in Nepal today. Or is just the elites and have - nots only. If we had a stong middle class, the politics would dominate our lives so much for we would all busy making or printing money. In any case, the current politicians must go away, dissappear, vanish, not exist, driven out of Nepal, whatever it takes to make Nepal a better country and a better society, that is quoting the great W S. If one big political fish is fried, the rest would hide in their little holes. You can take that statement to the bank.

Posted on: 14 JULY 2012 | 12:24 AM NST

5. 7
Just like Global Warming is God's way of saying 'Alrite bros, you've hit saturation point. So I'm gonna hit the reset button now.' The political situation in Nepal is what I'd like to believe, a man-made Global Warming of sorts that will offer the nation a clean slate with which it can rise from the ashes like a phoenix. We'll never reach a point of saturation and we cannot perform with the optimism that whatever happened, happened, and we'll be all the wiser because of it. No way sir! Dragging this institution on the backs of our poor denizens won't suffice. We need a new beginning. The end always justifies the means. I for one, am all in for the downfall of our country. It's inevitable, might as well speed up the process and not let it dangle half-assed.

Posted on: 16 JULY 2012 | 10:34 AM NST