Nepali Times
National unity grovelment


It's a myth that the Maobaddies have two factions, they actually have at least five. Let's see: MBK is numerically the biggest sub-group, PKD is the richest cuz he has mucho moolah, BRB is the most powerful since he in power, then there is NKS who is literally a pain in the neck, followed closely by Comrade Cloudy who has longterm ambitions to start his own firm. But by now the commie buddies have cried wolf so often about an imminent split that no one will believe them until it actually happens. The tilt in the 'Prachanda Press' does suggest that an effort is now on to isolate BRB and there is a drift back towards the MBK Faxon, with PKD egging the hardie boys to call for the prime minister's resignation. We know there are no permanent friends or foes in politics, but all this habitual partner-swapping is getting to look a bit too promiscuous even by Nepali standards.

Joke: All four political parties are splitting, but that doesn't stop them from trying to form a national unity grovelment.

Tongues are wagging about whether Awesome Junior actually climbed Everest. The reason suspicions have surfaced is because the usually prolific Facebook user has not posted a single summit picture on his wall. If anyone climbs Everest, the first thing they usually do is take a picture of themselves on top and upload it as soon as they can, right? Well, not the ultra-modest Dear Leader Prakash. What we do know from other members of the flamboyantly named Lumbini-Everest Peace Expedition is that Comrade Prakash and his 'liaison' officer Comrade Bina (the two shared a co-ed tent throughout the expedition) were strolling hand-in-hand on the southeast ridge at 7AM on 24 May. So we know it for a fact that Prakash and his comrade-in-arms at least made it to the South Col. But did they get any further? Speculation is further fuelled by the fact that as soon as he got back to terra firma, The Fruit-of-Prachanda's-Loins has been using his Facebook status updates not to upload his summit album, as one would expect, but to hurl expletives and abuse at Kiran Kaka and the other dude, Big Plop.

The talk of the town is Chairman Max's speech at the Tamsaling the other day where he told the audience "the Nepal Army is now our army" and that the Maoists had already completed state capture. The surprising thing is that General COAS seems to agree whole heartedly. PKD's party is on the verge of a split, but instead of working on keeping it together, he is spending all his energy on getting Janajati UML and NC to break away. He is also busy dividing and ruling the army, this time using the ethnic card. Only a scheming Arya Khas Aboriginal Bahun could come up with a cunning plan like that.

What a lot of people didn't notice was that sitting next to PKD at the Tamang meet was none other than Ugly Sapkota, the Caucasian Comrade accused of masterminding the execution during the war of Arjun Lama, a Tamang resident of Dolakha. Comrade Fire has been trying desperately to rehabilitate himself, and even has a Wikipedia page that has no mention of Lama's extra-judicial killing.

Meanwhile, all we hear from the spinless babblers at the NC and UML is the same old mumbo jumbo about BRB's resignation with no credible succession plan. The NC and UML are determined to sabotage BRB's vision of turning this country into a Greater Nepal Co-prosperity Sphere, because that means he will rule forever. Hence the opposition to prime minister passing the anti-money laundering legislation by ordinance before the absolutely final 18 June deadline. Ehmaleys and Kangresis are just holding the country hostage so they can bargain for top slots in a new national unity grovelment.

The war of the texts is not taking any prisoners anymore, and has moved far beyond Nepalis fondly calling each other "Chuchhe" and "Chimse". Com Ang Qazi who threatened to huff and puff and blow down media houses at the Rapporteur's Club last month is at it again, SMSing fellow non-Janai Jati leaders who are not mutinying against their parent parties terms of endearment like: "I will play marbles with your eyeballs", or "I will pull your tongue out". Poetic.

This just in: Banks and businesses in Kathmandu are getting letters from the Kiran Kaka Faxon of the Buddies this week, strongly urging them to "donate generously to split the Maoist party".

1. who cares
"Tongues are wagging about whether Awesome Junior actually climbed Everest. "

i too dont believe it. there are three reasons- one they are liars, two their skin does not look to be that frosted, and third they did not come infront of the media as they returned (as far as i know) which is unlike  like them.

2. Ass ko Fan Ho
Same old stuff, nothing but bickering and pointing fingers. I think Nepalis should banish the follwoing people from Nepal,  1) Deuba ,2) Dahal, 3) Khanal , 4) Nepal, 5) Bhattarai, 6) Koirala. The remaining rotten crop can be sent to prisson for life. These people are 100 % responsible for the downfall of Nepal. What is shocking is that is there no one in Nepal that can fight for the rights of Nepalis. Why are these people getting away without any payback. Nepal has too much politics, stinking and ugly politics. Magne ( begger), Nepali leaders who are servile to Indians should be wiped out from Nepal. From 1990 to 2012, politicans have become wealthy beyond their wildest dreams and people are become poorer and poorer. What a tragedy !   

3. Bimala Pradhan
The elite and wealthy beyond any means, politicians are driving Nepal to the ground. Politics needs to be removed from the centre stage of Nepal. 99 % Nepalis do not give a crap about politics or politicians. We just care about making ends meet. Putting food on the table, education for our children and peace. With all the split in all the leaders, its silly to talk about unity. 20 years is a long time to get things right. Also, if things are so bent out of shape, then they should be Fixed, ya ! Until Nepalis can muster the courage to hold the leaders accountable, there will be no change. Nepal went downhill from 1 King to 10 Kings. If we can get rid of 1 King, we can alos get rid of 10 Kings. I still think that India is alos to blame for the mess in Nepal. The Maoist were sheltered in India, what more can I say, Nepalis should recognize who their friends are or who their enemies are.

4. Bhaicha
Bangaladesh Model.
Nepal must go for Bangaladesh model for the next election  for the sake of impartiality; headed by the Supreme Court Justice,and a national unity government of the technocrats.
Baburam has to go. GO went gone!-janu gayo gayeko.

5. Lady Evelyn
!!!Nice work. A great read after a long time! And you write like someone I know!!!

(11 JAN 2013 - 17 JAN 2013)