Nepali Times
Gobblement of Nepal


Now that the infamous 4-point agreement (a shotgun marriage between the Maoists and Madhesis) has been replaced with the 5-point agreement (a shotgun foursome between the Mao, NC, UML and Madhesis) the donkey turned to a noted Nepal-watcher to explain the significance of this and why we need two governments in three weeks. Since I recorded his answer, here it is verbatim:

"You see, it's like this. Oli and Poudyal wanted to oust Bhattarai through a no-confidence vote in the CA to force him to induct the NC and UML into a unity government. At first Bhattarai ignored them, but when he found out that with th e Baidya faction threatening to mutiny and the smaller parties joining, it looked like the no-confidence may actually work. So Sitaula and Amres got together with some guidance from Lainchour to convince Bhattarai and Dahal to agree to bring the NC and UML into government by getting Susil and JN to agree. Sitaula dangled a post-May 27 PM-ship carrot in front of Susil. Ram Saran and Nepal were told not to make trouble otherwise their chances of becoming PM in the future would go out the window. It worked with them, but it didn't work with Oli and Deuba who stubbornly refused to join the govt. You're with me so far? The trouble started because the Madhesi parties got to keep powerful ministerships as lollipops so they won't create another bawal in the constitution negotiations on carving up the Madhes. This angered Oli who saw that his party was getting nothing out of this arrangement. Deuba went into a deep sulk because his boys are not getting Energy and Culture, and Ram Chandra who has been eating crow ever since he lost the vote in the House 17 times thinks the rug has been pulled from under him yet again. But this gobblement is just for show anyway, since by 27 May there is supposed to be another govt that will be led by the NC. Jhusilo is licking his chops and has already sent his daura suruwal to the dry cleaners, but he first has to be nominated to the CA, and the conundrum for the kangresis is who to throw out to make place for the Maha Muntri. And being a bit out of it lately, he hasn't figured out that Sitaula thinks he is made for greater things and has other plans, and may not be satisfied with Home Minister."

Whoa. I never knew it was as simple as that.

The latest estimate of the net personal worth of the Baddie nomenklatura is that it has exceeded $2 billion, of which half belongs to Comrade Gargantuan himself. He should be worried that FATF is stuck again and its anti-money laundering and anti-terrorism (aren't the Baddies still on Uncle Sam's terror watchlist, btw?) provisions may mean his trans-continental assets may be frozen. But the latest public opinion survey also shows there has been some frightening erosion of the Awesome brand. Then there is Comrade Prabhakaran who by now owns 80% of the bulldozer fleet in Nepal of which there were 1,000 at latest count. They're hired out at Rs 20,000 a day: do the maths. The comrade is also now the sole sales agent here of a Chinese parastatal that is trying to pan off two MA60s and five Y12s to KNACK at over inflated costs. Finance Minister Barsha Man Pun has now been controlling the purse strings of the treasury for six months and has been so adept, his nickname in the ministry is "Artha Man". Then of course there is Mahara Dai whose lives by the dictum "political power flows out of my wallet".

Why beat around the bush? Let's just make Comrade Amareso prime minister and appoint Prof SD Muni Nepal's ambassador to New Delhi?

And here is the headline of the week: The Akhanda Far-west Struggle Committee which was driving to Kathmandu for holding talks with the government has been stuck in banda by Akhanda Chitwan.

1. who cares
Nepal-watcher to explain the significance of this and why we need two governments in three weeks.

You could be wrong, bad ass. agent bhatterai may backtrack and keep his post since he has support from indian lawmakers as well as indigenous lawmakers from nc, uml.

2. Gheo Chaku Naran
The Gobermint of Born Again Nepalwill give birth Musal of Mahabharata  proportion as minted as nayanepal and can create the same type of situation as meted by the Yadavbansis in the past.

3. Babucha
The name of Babu Bheda(ram mane Bheda ,school children roto reading)is conspicuously missing,why. ..?  There is a saying in Nepali Daine hatle khayepani bays hatle khayepani pani ustai ho! comrade Hisi has surpassed Ms.Sujata or Queen Aiswarya!Some eat by the left hand in New Nepal tools one has to support ones, hangers ons in the mater familia.

4. Bir Bahadur Rai
Its OK.  For the time being anyway ! They say you can run but not hide. The ill gotten wealth of Dahal can and will be frozen and then handed over to the govt. and used for the welfare of the people. The Ranas looted for a while. Then the Shah kings. And now the Communist. So ask yourself the question, what happened to the Ranas and Shahs. Nepal is so small and tiny that Dahal may be not even find a place to hide. The law of Karma will take its course, you can your bet your life on that. Ass... your piece is great,  its such a same, that Indians have made Nepali Netas their salves. What can we do about it, ASS, you must find a solution for this.    

5. Badri Shrestha
Ass -  is this for real,    net personal worth of the Baddie nomenklatura is that it has exceeded $2 billion, of which half belongs to Comrade Gargantuan himself. A communist's  net worth is 1 Billion Dollars. Do the Maoist Cadres known how rich their Neta is. O M G.  This guy should be teaching us all poor Nepalis how to make this kind money, that way we would all be rich and wealthy. WOW.. the time has come for the rest of us to stop smoking the SHIT, stop drinking RAKSHI, stop playing TAAS, and to really think about the future generations. There has been too much BHOJ, especially at the expense of  98 % Nepalis.      

(11 JAN 2013 - 17 JAN 2013)