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� This was the Uncivil Minister's symbolic protest to push for freedom of movement and a bordeless, visa-free world
� He was going to apply for political asylum on arrival, fearing persecution from a rival Maoist faction
� As a minister, he thought he could just wing it like ministers can wing anything in Nepal
� He was planning to pull out his gun and shoot his way into Germany
� Worse comes to worst, he thought he could always bribe German immigration police at Flughafen Tegel
� He thought going to Berlin was like going to Patna
� He was doing Germany a favour by testing for loopholes in the Schengen Treaty
� He didn't want to get a Schengen visa in case someone wanted to send him to the ICC in The Hague someday
� He thought Communists with 'red' passports are respected in Germany, the birthplace of Karl Marx
� Tourister Minister wanted to experience first-hand the harrassments thousands of ordinary Nepalis go through every day at airports
Some of you star-struck readers out there will have noticed that Jupiter and Venus are getting up close and personal in the heavens these days. And for the first time in ten years, all five visible planets are in the evening sky, that is if you can see through Kathmandu's smog. To make sense of this phenomenon we consulted the ex-royal astrologer who says the conjunction of the planets doesn't bode well for Nepal till May. In fact, the soothsayer advises all Nepalis to stay indoors, bolt the windows and wear ear plugs to avoid any untoward mishaps. As long as I had him on the line, I asked the ass-trologer whether the constitution would be written on time. He measured the distance between Jupiter and Venus, did some calculations and said: "In some parallel universe, maybe, but not in this one."
Which should be very worrying to all and sundry, but the way our pols are going about their business it looks like they don't have a care in the world. In his war anniversary speech at Khula Munch last month, Chairman Maximum poured scorn over the Supreme Court ruling that there will be no more extensions of the CA after May. And while in public he tells everyone not to worry about the constitution not being written in time, confidentially he has been telling colleagues not to worry because there will be another extension. It is clear the Maobaddie strategy is to drag this thing out as long as possible until the time is ripe to go for state capture. Which is why Ram Sharan is coming out with his axe swinging these days calling the Baddies all a bunch of liars and hypocrites. Umm, but that is what the Mau-Mau cadre themselves call their leaders, no?
This headline was bound to happen sooner or later: 'Maoist Leaders Stranded Because of Maoist Bandh'. So it came to pass that the top Baddie brass had trooped off to Pyuthan to hear themselves give fiery speeches when they found out they couldn't get out of there because of a strike called by local comrades. They got the Army to dispatch Gyanu's Romeo Alfa Juliet to rescue them. As the Super Puma took off in a cloud of dust, local reporters overheard people in Pyuthan who had been stranded all day due to the bund hurling choice epithets at the former revolutionaries that are unprintable even in the backside page, but one sounded like "Ma-Cheese".
Who says there hasn't been progress in the peace process? During the war, the Baddies used choppers to cut people into little pieces, now they fly choppers. Which is what convicted murderer and CA member, Ball Krishna Dhungel, did the other day in Salleri in the company of the Energetic Minister, Mr Post Man. No wonder the cops are going around arrresting jay walkers and those driving under the influence, because they can't seem to get around to arresting serial killers-turned-politicians.
