Mustangs will soon have to be flying off the Hulas Motors assembly line in Biratnagar if we are to keep up with the demand for official cars for the cabinet which, like the universe itself, is still expanding. There are four more vacant portfolios so we will have a 55 member cabinet. Lot of people have been complaining about how this jumbo cabinet is going to be a drain on the budget. I don't think so. It will actually give Nepal's budding automotive industry a shot in the arm, create jobs and who knows one day we may even be able to export SUVs. At least BRB was honest enuf to tell Bhusan on Fireside that he can't recognise members of his own cabinet.

The prime minister's own custom-made Mustang Max (with power steering, stereo, and armour plated sides) is undergoing field trials as we speak. Quite appropriate that the model is called the Mustang Max since this is a maximum size cabinet. As one wag put it, this isn't a "jumbo" cabinet, it is an "Airbus 380" cabinet.
Victorious Bachelor Gachhedar has promised that his home ministry will be "cleanest ever". But old habits die hard and the minister can't seem to resist plucking low hanging fruits. A DIG spilled the beans to the tabloid press last week that he was asked to pay Rs 1.5 karod to be promoted to IGP by Gachhe's sidekick. When he said he didn't have that kind of money, they sent a notorious don in the payroll of the minister to have a chat with him. The DIG in question wasn't just not promoted, but two junior officers were. If that was the going rate, Victorious Babu must have made a cool 30 million on those two promotions alone. If even half the rumours are true, Deputy Prime Minster and Homely Minister Victorious is raking it in. That explains why he then scooted off with family in tow to Manakamana last week to give thanks to the God of Good Wishes.

Don in question, Acting Minister of Home Affairs Ganesh Lama (no relation to HH the Dalai), has apparently issued a secret rate list for this year's police transfers and promotions.
ASI to Inspector: Rs 100,000 + a bottle of Famous Grouse
DSP to SP: Rs 500,000 + two bottles of Black Label
DIG to IGP: Rs 1.5 karod + a crate of Chivas

If any of you have ever murdered someone in cold blood or have the intention of doing so, don't worry, we now know how to escape punishment. Here's what you do: join the Maoist party and then get yourself elected as Constituent Assembly member. This is what Balkrishna, Baban and Comrade Ugly did, and they will all be pardoned by the president. Baboon Sing didn't just commit a murder, he masterminded a bloody massacre, and he is walking around the CA in broad daylight even when he is on the Nepal Police "Most Wanted" list. When a case was filed against him, he suddenly turned Gandhian and went on a hunger strike. Prabu Sah, involved in murder of a Hindu activist in Birganj, was not only never caught, BRB appointed him minister. Moral: Unless your cv says you have committed manslaughter, don't even bother applying for a post in this cabinet.

True to his name, General Attorney Mukti is busy ensuring that his fellow-comrades get freedom from murder convictions. You have to go to the AG's office these days to see how Comrade Yummy is running the show. She was heard shouting to him from the stairs: "Eh Mukti Cha, thanawa!" And speaking of Comrade Hasiya, the prime minister will have to have to take her aside one of these days and tell her to shut the fog up. She's getting to be a national embarrassment. The PM's consort apparently made an ass of herself by asking a Madhesi NRN in NY which part of India she was from. Then she asked Prabal Gurung if he was a tailor, and ordered a haku patasi gown. And, this is the kicker, she asked a Nepali expert on cloud computing if he generate some rain in drought-infested western Nepal.

So BRB got tired of waiting for disgruntled comrades to join his govt and has filled it up with gruntled comrades. The ultra faction seems to be satisfied for now just filing notes of descent.