Now, let me get this straight. Maoist ideologue-in-chief and prime minister Baburam Bhattarai goes to New York and delivers a lecture on Marxism, and the very next day there is a revolution in America. It's not Cuba that is exporting revolution to the US, but Nepal.

***

A bhumiputra muntri is accused of masterminding a murder last year, police finally have the intestinal fortitude to book him, but then his supporters (who happen to be from the prime minister's faction of the Baddies) declare a bund and shut down the East West Highway for two days and burn copies of newspapers that printed stories about the implicated minister. The road is finally opened when the charges are dropped and the minister's secretary pays 8 laks blood money to relatives. We hear the BRB govt is about get the prez to pardon his land reform minister.

***

Why are we surprised? Look at all the bizarre stuff that has been happening this silly season. PKD says he had "no choice" but to make BRB primordial minister, and then added satrically that it was "magic" his deputy became PM and not him. He'd probably pass a lie detector test on that one. In a not-so-subtle behind the scene move, Awesome (who has taken a vow not to criticize anyone for the next 45 days, which must be really stressful for him) has been getting his loyal fifth columnists to all have a go at BRB in the op-eds.

***

Then Healthy Minister Rajinder Mahato calls 50 or so scribes and Pharisees to his residence and gives them all envelopes with dasain greeting cards that also happen to contain 3-8 grand in hard cash. Sorry to say that the Venerable Ass was not included in this latest case of Envelopemental Journalism. Since Rajinder has been known to have done this sort of thing before, the story died down even though it transpired that the minister had actually taken the money out of the donor-funded communications budget of his ministry which is supposed to be used for public awareness campaigns to combat kala azar and diarrhoeal dehydration. And from the rest of the media there was studied silence on the fact that only three of the 50 hacks actually gave the money back.

Nothing new here, either. This government has been doling out money from the national coffers like there is no tomorrow. Forgotten earthquake victims are still waiting for aid to rebuild, but the "relief" that has been most promptly distributed has been the retroactively implemented increase in the compensation for war victims, and a hefty allowance raise for cantonment fighters. With the administration under Baddie control, one can easily guess where all this money is going to end up.

***

The plot thickens. Sarat sir, under pressure from the gruntled pure Madhesi faction within his party, suddenly becomes holier than the pope and says the 22 Tarai districts could secede. This unleashes a firestorm of outrage, but saves the defence minister his job. He tells the PM: "Look I had to do it to protect my backside." BRB understands perfectly because it all sounds really familiar to him.

***

Then a Mau Mau MP and BRB loyalist, who has actually been convicted of murder and sentenced to 20 years, is nearly pardoned by the cabinet. A Muslim leader is assassinated in broad daylight outside the Rani Pokhari police station, the culprits, as usual, are never caught. The PM tells a Muslim delegation (who relates this to the media later) he can't apprehend the assassin because of "pressure from a foreign country". Hmmm. With friends like these, the prime minister doesn't need any enemies.

***

Which must be why there is talk even within the Baddie circles that the party is about to suffer a vertical split between the "Indian Maoists" and the "Chinese Maoists". And Comrade Bigplop's Gang of Four have started calling BRB "Chief Minister Bhattarai".

***

Apologies to Kazi Narayan Kamred for having defamed him in the last episode of Backside by insinuating that he travelled business back from JFK when in fact he stewed in Proletariat Class. The man is great after all.