Nepali Times
ASS
Backside
Gandhian Maoist and a minister on the runway

ASS


Comrade Awesome made himself the laughing stock when, soon after becoming prime minister in 2008, he said he was a man of compassion and peace and compared himself to Gautam Budhha. Taking his cue from that, protťgť Com Horrible Gajurel told fellow Maoists this week: "I used to be a Gandhian." We are now waiting for Comrade Hitman to declare himself a Shakyamuni and Comrade Bigplop to liken himself to Nelson Mandela.

***

NAVESH CHITRAKAR

At least BRB doesn't try to be what he isn't. Still, if he really wants to fulfill the people's hopes he will have to rein in the 3Ms: Madhesis, Maoists and the Missus. After the 'Mandu Post this week exposed Com Yummy bossing people around and trying to forcibly requisition a Prado, Comrade Hubby had a man-to-woman chat with her that evening. By Thursday, she had reduced the demand from Prado to Bolero. And if there are any other follow-ups to that story, she'll probably have to settle for a Nano. With all the stolen SUVs in Maoist possession (one can recognise them on the street by their diagonal yellow-green license plates and kamikaze drivers) why does Yummy insist on a govt vehicle anyway? Whatever the case, BRB needs to have another pillow talk with his not-so-better half.

***

So the entourage arrived at the VVIP lounge at TIA for the prime minister's departure to New York. He didn't take up the Ass' humble suggestion to stand in the one hour queue at immigration with fellow-outbound Nepalis, it has to be said. The airline offered BRB a free upgrade which the prime minister politely declined. Eye-witnesses reported that Com Yummy and Deputy PM Kazi Narayan were visibly crestfallen on economy bulkhead seats. By the time the group got to Doha for the seven-hour layover, they were sulking because the prime minister refused to go to the Business Lounge. At JFK, BRB appeared none the worse for wear since he is acclimatized to sleeping only four hours a day. But Kazi looked wilted. Which must be why he decided not to fly back with his boss, and postponed his return by two days so he could upgrade himself.

***

The Indians are always saying the Buddha was born in India, but now they have even laid claim to the Sept 18 earthquake. Why is it called the "Sikkim Earthquake" when the epicenter was located 5 km inside Nepali territory? The student wings of some parties may want to stage a protest outside the Indian Embassy, or even go into an indefinite and/or fast-unto-death (whichever comes first) to lay Nepal's rightful claim to the epicenter.

***

If you happen to be at KTM Incontinental Airport and there is a crisis like a cracked runway, an earthquake or a bomb scare all hell really breaks loose. When the earthquake struck and the control tower started swaying, our intrepid ATCs apparently abandoned their stations, leaving planes circling in the air without instructions. It's now become commonplace to have monkeys on the runway, but there was a new twist recently when a flight had to go around because the Right Honourable Tourism Minister decided to do a surprise inspection of the runway cracks just as QR351 was on final approach.

***

While the Parsa police frantically looks for Com Godman in connection with murder of a fellow Godman in Parsa one year back, the Minister-at-large was seen posing with Kamred PM at a function on Monday. When mule's correspondent took it to a bigwig in Nepal Foolish, he said the warrant is yet to make it through Naubiseko ukalo and is hoping that the heavy Dasain traffic will delay it until it is no longer warranted.

***

And, last but not least, we have three quotes of the week:

"I will not criticise anyone for three months. Anyone who takes that as a sign of weakness is a running dog lackey of imperialism."

- PKD

"We didn't loot property during the war, we transferred their ownership."

- BRB on BBC

"Our torch rally was called off because of bad weather. We took a rain check."

- Comrade Cloud



1. who cares
"but now they have even laid claim to the Sept 18 earthquake. Why is it called the "Sikkim Earthquake" when the epicenter was located 5 km inside Nepali territory? "


from shah rukh khan to amitab bachhan, they like pity support and use tears to get it.



"We didn't loot property during the war, we transferred their ownership."


jyu sarkar. 


2. Sunkaji
We did not kill any people during people's war, we sacrificed martyrs for the noble cause of revolution.


3. Nepali
Surprising Lions becomes  harbivarious, is it applicable to Maoist. 

4. ASP
We want to establish Nepalko mato suhaundo democracy; that's why we the 601 in the Constituent Assembly keep on extending our term again and again.

If a Ugandan president or a Pakistani General (President) did the same, we'd call that dictatorship. Not in Nepal.


5. Tashi Lama
Coming of Commies and Comrades in this world, is that of coming of true source of breeding immorality in this world.
In the name of peoples liberation and peoples liberation army became the source of their power ground.
From that ground dictators like Stalin, Lenin and Mao played their role of wolf in sheep skin.
Millions of sheep fooled, imprisoned and murdered, knowing not the wolf in the disguise of sheep amongst them.
Still in Nepal there are sheep like people who still cherish Commies ideas and ideology, knowing not that, they were just empty words, only to fool the sheep to go to wolves den!

¬ ¬


6. Hyoju
Ass is the most "in-credible" journalist in Nepal.


7. Madhesi

Dear Ass,

You should offer tribute to Peace Leader Gandhi today becase you use his name for this article.....



8. jange

# 4 ASP

If a Ugandan president or a Pakistani General (President) did the same, we'd call that dictatorship. Not in Nepal.

We would call it a dictatorship too.

A democratic revolutionary agragaman dictatorship.

And the NT would be singing its praises.

But wait, isn't that hat we have now?





9. Migrant workers

Dear Ass,

You should join our team or in option You may join the Team of DOFE they collect Nrs 2 million daily from the migrant workers as bribe . Instead of DRY grass you will get wet Grams as per Lilamani', if nothing

PM BRB will appoint you for backing to control the bribe issue. DOFE DG failled and affraid of his life.What you suggest to PM?



10. who cares
i think ass could definitely win the liglige marathon.

if you win, you could declare yourself king of gorkha. 

did shah stop the race after becoming the king. so betraying is in their gene, hum!


11. STUPID

Hon. Ass,

Very soon all Nepali will Worship as National God , Lord Pashupati has left the temple and blessed the cabinate of Ministers of BRB government to recomend the case Of pure Murder  to GOPESWORNATH for amnesty. Kindly wait for your turn Maoist judgement will declare you National God and judges from SC will be Prest like Bhatta.



12. PARMANAD

The Nation is moving in organized way as per legalig Marathon hence it is announced that The Great Winer BRB will provide TIKA on ospicious ocasion of BADA DASHAIN with mantra '" Sharve Vawantu Sukinah....Ma kaschit Dhukh Bhagjanah'' . The prade will be demonstrated by PLA. Chief guest Will be V.P Parmanda Yadava. or HON. ASS

 



13. murkha nepali
How long shall this unprecedented actor reign by brandishing his thesis paper? I have a question for this person who delineates himself most staunch democrat of date but is in fact to the soul -an extreme Machavellianist- and a true incarnation of Dr. Goebbels - Hon. Com. BRB, you once talked about the Nepalese versions of Jigme Singe Wangchuk and Lendup Dorje being installed in Nepal(if my memory serves right, it was on the aftermath 5/1 Royal Massacare). Is Mr. BRB the most refined and debonair version of this Lendup Dorje??????





14. murkha nepali
What's this fuss about BRB's Mustang?
After all he has followed an elusive way to demand a better one via his not-so-better half(as ass has rightfully depicted) and murkha nepali like me don't see it. After all we have been habituated to worship a God blindly, whoever he may be, and since being deprived of one for half a decade, we have found a new one in him.
Does his Mustang propaganda really serve an iota in providing for the  deprived and marginalized Mustangis(and many other -gis) to have a better and happier Dashain?



15. Gole
One can commit any crime if you area member of the Communyst Party in a Communist regime.You cannot be investigated by the Public Procurator.Only the Party Disciplinary Committee can punish you So,the Disciplinary Committee is influenced by ,Youknow  which faction is this chap supporting.You don.t want to punish a chap who is supporting you.So ,this is one of the reasons ,why corruption has not been weeded out  in countries like China. So party criminals are being absolved of any crime in our land also.
Can any o0ne tell us, who gave them right to kill the innocents?


16. Kale Rai
Gandhian or Gaade or Gaadnu or Gaand?


17. STUPID
one can see 58 year old baby enjoying Ping at Maiti Nepal, a unsaturated desire of his boyhood.

18. Professor
Now acadmic Degree doesnot matter for the Position of Prime Minister of Nepal. Within last four years B.SC. (agri), B.com , BA & Now PHD in (Archtect) all  has simillar performances. Hence CA. should declare Hon Ass as New PM because he will not lie or decieve, never corrupt and finlized his task on Time. Hon ASS  means ( DONKEY)

19. Nepali
A good Father always teach his son/ daughter ultimate truth and matured one advance on with all effort. This is applicable to PKD. Sencere tribute to Muktiram.dahal. This moment will inspired him many Nepali not yet cable to pay his homage to their lost one due to political insurgencies in nepal.

20. SHADHUBADI
Ass you become naughty, did you forget about 5000 persons are murders in Nepal majority free some are alliance with PLA and few in NA only hand full Nos are in civil society and noted one in cabinet why you disclose it, SC has announces around 200, 000 persons are defaulters . If warnt not issued to them at least You are safe or You will have to join GANUBABA.

21. murkha nepali
Has PKD  ethical rights to bereave the demise of his father (no offence intended to the soul in ultimate peace) ,remembering his cadres having  pulled bereaved sons out of  their bereavement ??? May the soul of Mukti Ram Dahal rest in peace.


22. murkha nepali
Can anybody shed light upon one inquiry of this murkha - Did BRB go to Gorkha in Previous Dashain, or the year before or before that?


23. murkha nepali
Beware before submitting a comment, Min. Apurti Mahato( Presently Unhealth Min.) has threatened to cut our typing fingers.Kudos to this self proclaimed leader of Madhesh !!!!!!!!!


24. murkha nepali
Answering Gole,
 Did you forget that we are sovereign people, that means, we have unrestrained rights to do anything we like as long as we are a party sycophant. This is the one and only universal principle of Nepal Suhaundo Agragami Rajnaitik Bigyan.-verbatim Hon.Prabhu Sah



25. Gaule
PHD. ...... Prime minister
P=Poor
H= Half Minded
D= Defaulter
If we share few word of Hon. Late Koirala, LOOTE Prime minister.Mula le
commitment Gardcha garnke hi Sakdain. Kase kam Mato ko Madhava le bureaucrats le sahayog garena Bhane., Yo jantha Lato po chha.




26. Nirih Sharmik
Hon. Ass ,
You are only living God in Nepal, "it is noted Secretary - Ministry of Foreign Affairs  Mr. Dhurab Bhattarai " told Rajdhani weekly @ Doha the poor migrant workers don't deceived due to Government of Nepal rather due to unawareness.  Ex. PM Madhava & PM BRB also realized problems are to be Solved.Either You should back kick him or Advise Hon .Minister Narayan kaji to suspend him. Such Gandu Model not necessary for Nation.Or Pulick will put Kalomasi on his face. We hope you will take action BRB is busy as bee?


27. Chayanba
Dr Mahat Speak in house BRB is Naked........ Turi TUri PM


28. murkha nepali
And what more, he is unashamed, rather proud of his characteristic nudity.
Is anybody conversant with the story of a conceited fool of a  king who flounced naked in the street, under the illusion that he was wearing an invisible dress.
Neither BRB's PhD nor his overrated Hindustan manufactured Nepal assembled Mustang can hide the venomous snake inside.
Worst of all the PMs of Nepal, even more than that tyrannical mammoth Girija.


29. sano bhai

"We didn't loot property during the war, we transferred their ownership."

- BRB on BBC

HAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!
Their unwavering sense of justified Revolution is absolutely astounding.

The criminal who fully aknowledges his guilt is one who seeks repentance,
The one who denies his guilt is one who will keep on his criminal activities,
The one who justifies his crimes is the Insane and he surely needs psychological help.

By the way, I would like to see a list of these "Maoist-blessed" new owners. Surely, they must have distributed the wealth amongst the people they "Liberated".

"Our torch rally was called off because of bad weather. We took a rain check."

What show of prowess in the adversity of social injustice!!! What mighty Comarades, these sons of the Hammer and Sickle.
Surely, the Revolution Will wash away, like the grime that has accumulated on our roofs with the next monsoon. And hopefully they will take with them there stupidity and their arrogance. 
Maoism, as it presents itself in the actual Nepali "Fac-simile" version of it is a politic for the foolish. How ashamed Mao would be for such an embarassing display of his Ideology.


30. sano bhai
2. Sunkaji said:
We did not kill any people during people's war, we sacrificed martyrs for the noble cause of revolution.

What ignominy has grown in the heart of men for them to justify the deaths of innocents? Worse still, how is it that they have given these very killings a Noble stature. A "noble cause" they say. Then surely we have not recieved the same eduaction, even less so the same intelligence. Gandhi's martyrs died for a Nobel cause, Luther's also. And they themselves died in the face of adversity, in the name of their cause. 
Surely there is no nobility in the way PKD and BRB cling to their political statures.

I think that this maoist regime is forgetting that the conflict between communism and liberalism is long over. One after the other, the different communist regimes of the world have fallen. Even the Chinese Regime has nothing of it's precedance in communist aspects. 
To Prachanda an Baburam I ask only that they open their eyes to reality, Communism is dead, and history has shown that it has no viability. You are the last circle that draws itself around the pebble thrown in the pond.

But if you do not see all of this, than I hope that the People will wake up and react against your tyranical rule, against your corrupted government, your criminal actions, your attitudes unworthy of this nation called Nepal.
Because if there is a so called "Noble Cause", then it is against all tyrants, not just the ones wearing crowns and not just the imperialists. Sorry to tell you this PKD and BRB, but you are the New Tyrants.



LATEST ISSUE
638
(11 JAN 2013 - 17 JAN 2013)


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