Nepali Times
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From lame duck to dead duck

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Now that Lujendra has discovered water on Mars, maybe the Department of Drinking Water and Sewerage should invite him back to Nepal to see if he can find it in Kathmandu too. We will need a diviner here, and it may as well be an ex-patriot Nepali. If he can find it in outer space, he can find it anywhere. Kathmandu may have run out of water, but it is the most happening place in the solar system, there is lots happening even though nothing ever gets done.

***

The most happening announcement by the Gobblement of Nepal this week was not the promulgation of a new constitution a week before the deadline, but the banning of smoking in public places. One thing about this grovelment, it sure has its priorities right. There is a sword hanging over the prime minister's head and he still has time for life-and-death issues like fining people for smoking. As far as rules and regulations go we must have some of the finest on the planet. At this rate KTM will be a "fine" city just like Spore. The only diff will be that here we will have to fine people for flushing the toilet and wasting water.

***

JN's mentor Comrade Caesar Maximus has also got his priorities all figured out. At a time when integration is stuck and the constitution deadline is a week away, he's air-dashing off again to Malaysia with his left hand man, Com Bagman ("50 karod") Mahara. And just to quell speculation about whether the Asia-Pacific Exchange and Cooperation Foundation (APECF) actually exists, this time PKD brought the entire zingbang back with him on his plane from BKK. Last time journalists went to check out the Glouster St office address of APECF in Wan Chai, they found a textile factory. Anyway, this is the organisation that has a grandiose plan to turn Lumbini into Mecca or Vatican or whatever, and has both Prachanda Pratapi and Paras Bir Bickram as members of its advisory panel. Another member who got in with Awesome on the same flight on Wednesday was Steven Rockefeller. Now, how did a fourth generation Zen Buddhist rock-a-fellow get roped into a dubious Chinese quango that wants to turn Lumbini into a Buddhist Disneyland? APECF's website is still "under construction", and that will probably be the fate that awaits Lumbini, too.

***

No one it seems has time to think about such things when internal feuding among kangresis, eh-maleys and baddies is reaching a crescendo. The worst is yet to come in the PKD vs BRB saga. Awesome is ticked off JN offered to resign on Saturday under pressure from the kangresis, because that would make it easier for BRB to cobble together a consensus govt. But for lame duck JN to be a dead duck, the kangresis will first have to resolve the SBD vs RCP power struggle, and you can be sure PKD will try his best to drive a wedge there. SBD gave BRB a public dressing down in Gorkha last week calling him "fork tongued", must have been to make PKD happy so he will anoint him PM?

***

So, to recap, the plot so far:

1. The PKD faction wants SBD as PM just so BRB doesn't get the chance
2. The BRB faction wants the NC to come on board in a consensus govt headed by him
3. Jhusil Da would rather have PKD as PM because a consensus govt will mean either SBD or BRB as PM
4. RCP wants a consensus govt led by him and not by BRB
5. JNK knows that even if he resigns none of this will be sorted out and he can remain in Balu Water for the unforeseen future
6. The KPO faction of the UML wants JNK out even if it means a kangresi-led govt

***

If you think your head is spinning, look at what it has done to the prime minister. All the excitement has been too much for him and he is down again with a viral fever that doctors suspect is an E-KpOli infection.



1. who cares
"Kathmandu may have run out of water"


kathmandu has not run out of water, water is running out of kathmandu. build reservoirs in rivers- bagmati, bishnumati, hills close to kathamandu...  

may be if lujendra points it to you then only media will start to pressure govt.

 why dont medias keep on telling govt. to build dams to collect water for a whole month?



regarding puspa and sons' visit to malaysia: they went there to take order from master or to get that 50 crore cash? 

is not it something to think of- puspa postpones national level meeting to attend party meeting and gives more important to malaysia/singapore meeting than to party meeting. 




regarding formation of next govt.: if jhallu ram really resigns, i donot think it will take too long, like previous time, to form next govt. cause jhallu ram gang has been exposed. 


jhallu ram already got what he wanted from this govt.,, its the loss of other idiots who supported him, who had brought down previous govt.,, they may have ended their political future in UML cause of their actions.


2. KiranL
Gobblement of Nepal...brilliant! Ass is a genius!


3. Jens
It is pretty clear that APECF is a thinly veiled front of the Chinese government to hijack Lumbini, downplay its spiritual importance and turn it into a "Mecca" of materialism. That atheist country is only interested in building an airport and hotels so it can profit from tourists from East Asia. It is the ultimate travesty of Budhha's teachings. In this Beijing has got the Maoists in Nepal eating out of their hands, their eyes hypnotised by the promise of three billion dollars. Rockefeller, now that is a mystery. How does a billionaire student of Zen Buddhism get bamboozled into a scam like this? Business interests in China?


4. Kale Rai
Sri 3 Jungedai must have by now received the reward of 50 karod as lobbying fee for supporting this Lumbini Wonderland Deal Project. He seems like a child with a Jilebi smile this time at the airport during his pressing brief.
 Heil Unsere Fruher!


5. DG
Indian industrialists
& Co. must also be inducted in this APECF board. It will be a pity if the other powerful next door neighbour is left out of it. There is already the Nalanda-Bodhaya Development Project going on full throttle in Bihar and Nitsh Kumar was in China recently. Mayabati also should be approached as Kushinagar is in UP;also Sravasti and Saranath. The Sacred Garden Lumbini Project had envisaged a Regional Project East-West and North-South of it even from the early stage of its initiation and United Nation had conducted the first regional study with the government requesting for it.
The kingdom of the Sakyas was partly inthe areas at  the present lying in India. So this project should be undertaken as a complimentary one with India as well. This will be a meeting point for India and China in Nepal and the real Panchashila can be practiced in the very  land of its proponent,the Buddha.The chardham,the four must placesof Buddhist pilgrimage are Lunbint ,the birth-place, Bodhgaya, the place of Enlightenment, Sarnath, thefirst  place of the sermon and Kushinagar , the place of mahaparinirmana,the death of the Lord. 
Let Sister  Bhrukuti put Bhaitika on the forehead of Hindi-Chini as bhai  .Bhai Tika is approachaing soon.. This can be a way out for removing the veil of secracy  going on till now.


6. Kale Rai
Sri 3 Jungedai must have by now received the reward of 50 karod as lobbying fee for supporting this Lumbini Wonderland Deal Project. He seems like a child with a Jilebi smile this time at the airport during his pressing brief.
 Heil Unsere Fruher!


7. Sharanhari Dukulanthak
Since one of our own has found water in the red planet, Nepal could definitely lay claim over all martian waters. We could certainly dig an inter-planetary kulo to bring water to meet Kathmandu khaldo's need. I am sure Nepali "space" civil engineers will certify that that digging a kulo to bring water from the (kaam) red planet with little help from the northern neighbor is much easier than bringing it from Melamchi!


8. Kancha dai
Now that our netas have heard our own kancha has found water in mars, they definitely should claim it to bring that water to kakakul kathmandu. Coz it spell money. Get a bideshi company to do a feasible study - bag commission. Then scrap that study, to conduct other study - bag commission. Finally agree to disagree to agree the second study. Get another bideshi to work up the study - bag commission. Get another company for the job to bring the water - bag commission, which will be a steady income source for the "sat pusta" of the Shri 3's. 
I think I was su-su-ing in my diapers when the talk of Melamchi was in town, and now my son is su-su-ing in his diapers, and still there's talk and no water. Now that Mars has come as another source of water, it would be better to scrap the Melamchi and start the Mars khanepani project.


9. Gole
Kancha Dai.8#
Brilliant idea Su-Su Water. Export the water.as medicinal. It can rejuvinate the dead woods of  the so called democratic parties.

It will be better if our card-holding  water supply engineers and chemists recycle theSU-Su and supply the pure drinking water to avoid shortage of the valley 's kakakuls. Thiscan be certified by our FDA and will compete with the Rasua and Aqua hundred. But beware of the water mafias, you can meet the fate of the Korean manufacturer. Of course the priority should be accorded to our great proletarian leaders. Their necessity is better than yours.


10. Rajaram
# 5 DG.
Enlarge the project to include Indian side also. Dovetail with Nalanda and Bodh Gaya. Add Sarnath and Kushinagar,. Complete the Buddhist Circuit.
Extend it to Muktinath-Janakpur -NamoBuddha and Pashupati as a regional development one.
Induct Tata ,Ambani Murti, Premji etcfrom India in AOECF Board to make it a success.A project in the name of the Lord must have universal participation. Nitish Kumar and Mayabati will help with their presence.
 good luck . Make it a sucess. Win win for Nepal China and India.
God bless you. Make it am example of  Panchshil,



11. Gheo Chaku Naran.
A NATIONAL GOVERNMENT OF ALL THE CORCICAN BROTHERS AND SISTERS MUST NOW BE FORMED, GIVING PRIORITY TO ALL EX-PMS AND EX-DPMS IN THE CABINET.
 BUT DON,T FORGET TO INDUCT MOHAN BAIDYA KIRAN AND PASTOR CP GAJUREL AISO IN IT.
FEMALE SHOULD BE AT THE TOP OF THE PROTOCAL ORDER WITH THIRD SEX ONE AS THE CHIEF.
sSNTI AND SAMBIDHAN WILL
MATERIALIZE WITHOUT OBSTRUCTION, THE MOMENT IT IS CONSTITUTED.tHE DAYS OF POLITICAL THUGS ARE OVER.



12. Rajaram
# 5 DG.
Enlarge the project to include Indian side also. Dovetail with Nalanda and Bodh Gaya. Add Sarnath and Kushinagar,. Complete the Buddhist Circuit.
Extend it to Muktinath-Janakpur -NamoBuddha and Pashupati as a regional development one.
Induct Tata ,Ambani Murti, Premji etcfrom India in AOECF Board to make it a success.A project in the name of the Lord must have universal participation. Nitish Kumar and Mayabati will help with their presence.
 good luck . Make it a sucess. Win win for Nepal China and India.
God bless you. Make it am example of  Panchshil,



LATEST ISSUE
638
(11 JAN 2013 - 17 JAN 2013)


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