Newly designed reclining seats for Constituent Assembly members so they can work day and night to finish the constitution in time.

So now that it has been established (just as a wise ass prophesised last week) that in Nepal the new day begins at 6AM and not midnight, a precedence has been set for future constitution-writing and Nepal's politicians can all sleep soundly for another 90 days. This is also because a perfectly acceptable new constitution has already been drafted and just needs the John Henry of 601 sabasads. Anyone wishing to have a dekko should go to:

www.onlineconstitution.net/index.php?title=Main_Page and send comments to [email protected].

The floor of the August house was something to behold last Saturday as we approached the stroke of the midnight hour. The loud snoring from the back benchers threatened at one point to halt the proceedings and the Speaker told the Snorers to cut it out. CA members then went off to brush their teeth and came back in their pajamas.

Now that he is not PM anymore, Makunay looked like he didn't have a care in the world. Comrade Cloud was nodding off, Comrade Yummy threw back her head and was fast asleep with her mouth open, and Low Minister Prabhu Sah (also known as the "Domestic Prabhu") slinked off to a sofa in the chambers after tabling the government proposal. But poor Jhol Gnat couldn't rest in peace because, JPTG kept asking him to step down when all he wanted to do was lie down.

Learning from this experience, and since CA members will have to work day and night to finish off the constitution in the remaining 83 days, it is important to make the Constituent Assembly/Parliament conducive to deal-making in the wee-wee hours. Which is why the Assembly Sercretariat has fast tracked the proposal to upgrade the floor for nocturnal deal-making with the following design and procedural changes:

� International airlines have been asked to bid for the supply of 601 Slumberettes which look like normal CA seats in the daytime but can be transformed into a reclining bed at the touch of a button. Vibrator massage for the lower backs can also be fitted if requested.
� Each CA member will also be entitled to a Good Knight Kit which includes a tooth brush, shaver and foam, contoured eye mask, ear plugs, iPod that plays lullabies like "Aija Nidari Chhunumunu Chhunumunu�" and pills for CA members with acute sleep disorders.
� Lights in the Plenary Hall will be equipped with dimmers so as to make it easier for members to drift off when The Speaker announces a cat-nap break.
� Workaholic CA members who are too stressed to sleep will need stronger remedies, and the services of a team of hypno-therapists has been acquired to hypnotise members.
� Members who talk in their sleep will have microphones fitted into their lapels that feed the words into the public address system for the benefit of fellow members as well as to be broadcast live on national television.
� Members who sleep walk will be encouraged to go up and down the aisles to prevent Deep Vein Thrombosis, but floor-crossing will not be allowed.
� Keeping in mind that there are quite a few conjugal CA members, twin beds will be provided and can be curtained off for privacy, if so required.
� CA members who are in the habit of downing a chhota or bada peg at bed-time can visit a special mini-bar below their desks which is also well stocked with midnight snacks
� Bed tea will also be provided in the morning
� To cope with the morning rush hour to the loo, existing urinals will be augmented with arsenals

Comes news that left baddies are going after rights baddies. Minister for Disinformation, Comrade Conflagration is fending off attacks from Adhikar Baddies who want him out of office. Fireball actually went by the nom de guerre of Comrade Kanchan, but looks like even Mahara Bhaisap (try as he might) can't clear his name now. But the Homework Minister did manage to frame the police chief and replaced him with his own "ho manchhe".