S'long - Nepali Times

British Gurkhas ko size pani ghatney bhayo! The UK Ministry of Defense plans to cut 700 soldiers from the Gurkha unit rey! Them goras still have not compensated them 200,000+ Gurkhas who fought during the WWI and WWII kyaaruh! I guess the British don't need the Gurkhas hola...they blame them budget sudget kya! I think if they got rid of them Queen Sween then they can save some money ni!

Baroo �tyo rajkumar William ko biha ma samosa ruh chiya matrai diye hooncha ni! I hope our Gurkhas will not offer Prince Harry mutton curry and them kukhuri gift sift if he ever goes back to Afghanistan! Janoo cha bhaney aah-fai ja moro!

And our traffic police have decided to invite celebrities rey �to give them traffic-wallahs some pep talk and also share their experiences about how they were treated (badly) by them traffic-wallahs!

Once, I was coming back from Durbarmarg...the police stopped the taxi and checked my bag sag and then began asking them funny questions!
"Kaha bata aako?"
"Durbarmarg baatuh �"
"Ye... Raja lai bhet-naw gaako?"
I think somebody forgot to tell him that Gyanu Uncle doesn't live in Narayanhiti anymore and he is no longer them King Singh kya!
"Ani kaha jaa-naw laako?"
"Ghar!"
"Kaha ho ghar?"

I think these guys never watched them 'CID' on Sony TV hola ni! This (Nepal police ko Q&A) is probably worse than them Amriki Embassy ko question haroo kya! "Do you or have you or will you...ever be involved in them tero-ris organisation?"

Once upon a tyam in Amrika, a Nepali boy jasko last name chahi Khanal was picked up by them FBI folks...yo tyo plane slane lay tower haney ko bela ko katha ho! Ani FBI ko agent dumb-ass asked him...'Have you met Bin Laden?' or 'Do you have any anti-Amriki bichar-dhara?'...poor Khanal!

Nowadays...I just give them answers even before they open their flithy mouth south!

"My name is Guffadi. I am the chairperson of Guffadi Youth Club. I live in ******* and I am going home from work. Yes I know �it's 2 in the morning (and I open my bag...show them my laptop as if I am working for some IT company!)
It takes only two minutes...(Maggi!) and then they just stare at me. Laamo kapal pani chaina, mundra pani chaina �lau janoos janoos! As if I really want to stay there and ask for them soorti and a quarter of 'Virgin Whisky'...hehe!
India has won them Cricket World Cup natak...and this is probably the best tyam to ask them Desis for free electricity, subsidised fuel and food sood kya! Bhancha ni...when them folks are drunk then it's easy to get their junk from the trunk...haha! Sorry �that sounds like some shitty hip hop lyrics!

Anyways �congratulations to our Desi bhais....hope them betting wallahs made a killing! According to them Indian dailies, betting nai 50,000 crores ko bhayo rey! I lost my bet set... now I have to buy my saathi...'tandoori chicken' ruh naan saan! Gheech mora...jati gheech-noo cha!

And our great comrade, Prachandoni (Indian team captain Dhoni jastai kya!) called them Desi raj-doot, Mr. Sood rey! 'Bhai Saheb..congrats...' and the Desi ambassador replied... "if your cadres had waved them Indian flags instead of them black ones then you would have probably been the prime-monster again ni'

Dear Saathi bhai, didi bahinis and our stupid netas and neti-nis!

I have decided to stop writing them blog slog ma 'jpt' guff �from today onwards...I will be only writing them poem soem and mero original geet haroo ko lyrics!

S'Long, Farewell...I am moving to Zimbabwe...my flight's on Saturday...I hope Mugabe has better internet connection sonnection �haha!