The Ass has an idea. And it's a brilliant one, if I may say so myself. Lately there has been a hungama about the breeding centre to export lab monkeys, which were set free in Shivapuri National Park. Many died. This is cruel and inhuman, and we should re-legalise the trade. Only this time, let's keep the monkeys, and export the politicians.
It's definite there will be indefinite elections. But shut up already, those of you whining on and on about the tripartite netas holding the country hostage with their moronic behaviour. I am sick and tired of hearing you complaining. Let's face it, it's not at all original anymore to grumble about politicians. Besides, you think it's only in Nepal? Look at the Ozzies - they had an election a week ago and still don't have a new prime minister. What Nepal does today, the world does tomorrow.
With the sudden resurgence of ex-royals appearing at temples and giving impromptu interviews, it does look like someone somewhere is pulling the strings to bring back a 'cultural' (read Hindu) monarchy. If the Hindutva Brigade is in cahoots with the Red Brigade, then it may happen before long. Didn't Mao ally himself with Chiang Kai Shek against the Japanese?
There is one small problem: the Baddies don't believe in God. But considering how pragmatic the Comrades are about restoring the monarchy it's just a small extra step to accept the existence of a divine being, after all they are already used to cult worshipping His Holiness the Chairman. And seeing how many of our leaders have 'Ram' in their names (Ram Chandra Poudel, Ram Baran Yadav, Babu Ram Bhattarai, Ram Bahadur Thapa and even Pushpa Kamal's wife's name is Sita) it was anyway anachronistic to be declaring Nepal secular.
What is holding things back is the aversion of kingji to any overt collaboration with the Mau Mau. Which is probably why he is angling for another medical diplomacy trip to India to clarify matters with the powers that be, during which he also wants to drop in on Bhai Bua, who is undergoing treatment.
Now that Julia Roberts has converted to Hinduism, we shouldn't bar her from entering Pashupati should she decide to come to Nepal. She can join all the Bangladeshis and Pakistanis who are inside already because they 'look Hindu'.
The Chinese agenda of trying to get our Reds to work together is a non-starter considering how far apart the Maos and Eh-maleys are; or even Oily and Jhallu seem to be poles apart. So while Lainchaur is trying to keep our netas at each other's throats, Naxal is trying to get them to work together.
Some foreign embassies in Kathmandu are feeling a bit left out because they don't get the attention the Indians, Chinese and Euros get in shaping the destiny of our great nation. The Japanese are one of our biggest donators and are building a 9.1 km superhighway to Bhaktapur, but don't have a proportionate say in our internal affairs. The ex-Soviets who once built cigarette factories, sugar mills and educated thousands of Nepali engineers and doctors are now nowhere in the picture. But with its new oil wealth, international clout and the Putin Doctrine, the Russians have sent feelers asking the Nepal govt where they can meddle. How about getting the Russian Space Program to agree to take RCP and PKD on as trainee cosmonauts and blast them off into orbit?
One guy who doesn't seem to have a care in the world is Makunay, who is so cocksure the elections in parliament are going nowhere he is planning to fly off to New York in mid-Sept to address the UN General Assembly. Don't forget to take Suji along, and let's hope both of you will be sent back from JFK because you don't have machine readable passports.
The Nepal Electrocution Authority is thinking of hiking power tariffs. This merits this week's 'Only In Nepal Award'. The nationwide electricity theft rate is at 40 per cent. Which means by jacking up the rates, NEA is punishing honest customers who are paying for power, and letting the crooks go scot free. Jai Nepal.