It looks like Kingji badly upstaged Presidentji in Janakpur this week. The ex-head of state and the present head of state were head-to-head at the Janaki Mandir on Ram Nawami. The ex-raja came in a regular Buddha Air flight, while the prez flew in on the ex-raja's chopper. The president, being ceremonial, couldn't say much to the media, so the ex-king stole the media limelight. Ex-king: 1, Prez: 0.

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There is still hope. According to The Economist's survey of the world's most unlivable capitals, Kathmandu is (surprise, surprise) not the worst. It is eighth from the bottom and what a relief to know that Douala, Port Moresby, Dhaka, Algiers, and Harare are even bigger hellholes. The survey used criteria like stability, healthcare, culture, environment and infrastructure. Whew, good thing they didn't use loadshedding as a criteria or we'd have sunk right to the bottom.

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As a wag said: here in Nepal we got rid of Shah Dev, then we got rid of Bam Dev, but we are getting ready to welcome Ram Dev. Going by the tayari and bandobast at Tundikhel, for sure next week's Mass Yogasm is going to be a cross between Glastonbury and Woodstock. The Ass would like to propose that we make it mandatory for some of our fat netas to attend. Kickbacks are heavily calorie-laden and they should take up yoga to burn all those corruption carbs they've accumulated and earn some brownie points in heaven while they're at it. We'd like to see you all at Tundikhel sucking in your tummies.

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Chairman Fierceness is looking rather trim these days and even the Prez (being a doc) complimented the comrade on having reduced his midriff. One year in the opposition seems to have been good for the Body Mass Index of Comrade Tremendousness, but the real reason could be he is so worried about the succession question that he has lost his appetite. The man is not even trying to hide the fact. He went to visit Makunay at his residence (not Baluwatar) last week and when the prime minister offered to step down in favour of BRB, PKD replied: "No way, Jose." Or words to that effect. MKN then said how about Kaji Narayan Kamred, and Awesome replied, "Nope, it has to be me." Something along these lines also seems to have transpired during the long, long wait at Pashupati between Sitaram 'GMR' Yechury and Fearsome. So the answer to the political stalemate, and the reason the peace process and constitution are being held up, is not just a power-sharing agreement between the Maoists and the other parties, but more specifically: finding a mechanism to make PKD PM again. His Fierceness is now going around town with a single-point agenda: make me PM and I'll sort out army integration and get the constitution written by May 28.

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The bhag-banda between the UML and NC got so bad that the UML agreed to give up the MRP to kangres only if the kangres gave up Rastra Bank to the UML candidate. Essentially: the kangresis got the passports and the eh-maleys got the bank notes. Still, it was done in a relatively civilised manner, no blood spilt on the floor of the cabinet room. But they came close. When Healthy Minister Chowdri used Maithili expletives that included pithy descriptions of the genitalia of domesticated livestock against Homely Minister Rawal.The two would have castrated each other if a Comprehensive Ceasefire hadn't been declared.

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What's with the Baddies suddenly singing paeans of praise for Girijababu, and falling over themselves to call him a 'guardian' and all that? It hasn't even been a year since the Maobuddies declared that the Kangres was their 'Number One Enemy' and a 'Satru Shakti'. PKD went as far as confessing this week that GPK had warned him not sack the army chief last year and "I should have listened to him". So, is the Chairman saying he blundered, and the entire agitation for 'civilian supremacy' was also a mistake?

ass(at)nepalitimes.com